Welcome to the newest installment of Weekly Weird News! This week we have angry sex nurses, Monopoly drug busts and church pornography! It’s a debauchery triple threat!
Man Pays for Drugs with Monopoly Money
A Kansas man attempted to purchase drugs with Monopoly money. Drug dealers, however, generally have no sense of humor and the man was beaten for his little joke. At the very least, this guy proved once and for all that everyone hates Monopoly.
Chili Finger Lady Banned from Wendy’s
Anna Ayala, the woman who tried to scam the Wendy’s restaurant chain by putting a severed finger in her chili, has been released from prison and was promptly banned from eating at Wendy’s. She seems kind of sad about it, but then again if she didn’t want to be banned then she probably shouldn’t have put a severed finger in her damn chili.
Sushi Chef Serves Whale, Gets Arrested
California sushi chef Kiyoshiro Yamamoto was arrested after a sting operation uncovered he was serving endangered whale. Protip for would be sushi chefs and criminals alike: if you’re doing something you know to be illegal and someone asks you to do it for them after assuring you they aren’t FBI agents, there’s a pretty good chance you’re going to wake up the next morning in a federal prison.
Dutch Nurses: “Sex Isn’t Part of the Job”
A union for nurses in Amsterdam would like you to know that sex isn’t part of basic health care. This implies two things: people tend to hurt themselves while they’re stoned, and that the adult film industry has a very poor grasp of what a nurse’s job entails.
Internet Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize
The Internet has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Yeah, I know, part of me died, too.
Man Marries Pillow
A Korean man has taken the plunge by marrying his pillow. But don’t worry, it’s not creepy. You see, the pillow has a picture of an anime girl on it, so in all actuality he’s really vowing to spend the rest of his life with a cartoon image printed on the pillow. I’m glad I could clear that up for you.
Purple Snow Hits Southern Russia
Purple snow strikes southern Russia. It’s sort of like a Jimi Hendrix song if his music was a terrifying reality and he wasn’t a corpse.
Man Breaks into Church to Watch Porn
An Iowa man breaks into a church so he can use its equipment to watch porn. I hope it gave him the best orgasm of his life because it I’m pretty sure masturbating in church is one of the things God still smites people for.
List of Weekly Weird Image Galleries
- SheChive: I Think They Thought It Was Temporary
- DarkRoastedBlend : Plane Obsessed: More Hotel Jets and Houses
- UnrealityMag: Funny Cartoon about the Academy Awards
- CollegeHumor: 10 Masturbatory Situations
- uphaa: 20 Photos that make you say WTF! II
- urlesque: The Best Google Logos
- Weird Asian News: Japanese Dog Reserves Smile for Its Owner
- Gunaxin: Five Great Fist Pumps in Film
- Incredible World: Five Funniest Things Elephants Can Do
- English Russia: Ekranoplan
- Cracked: 6 Famous Explorers Who Shaped the World (with Insane Lies)
- Holy Taco: 25 Hot Gamer Chicks
- Oddee: 10 Craziest Stuff Done While Sky Diving
- Manofest: 10 Funniest Moments in Red Carpet History
- The Chive: Before and After Makeup
- TopTenz: Top Ten Miscast Movie Roles
- MadeMan: 10 Awesome Mojito Recipes