A lot of successful people get to the point where they’re on top of their profession and start to get bored and want a new challenge, or want to use their fame and fortune to try to turn what should be a hobby into a full blown second career. Unfortunately for our ears, in many cases that means actors, athletes, models, and so forth all trying to become musicians despite the small problem of having no discernable talent. 8.
Every Attempt by Bruce Willis
Look, we all love Bruce Willis. The guy was John McClane, after all. One of the things Bruce is very good at is getting dirty while fighting terrorists and making snarky remarks just after shooting them in the face. What he’s not so good at? Music. Yet he’s tried time and again to actually be a musician. When he’s singing, however, he’s not Bruce Willis anymore. Nope, he calls himself “Bruno” and his music is every bit as horrible as you’d probably expect. He’s actually released multiple albums under the name Bruno the Kid, and believe us when we say this “music” actually makes The Whole Ten Yards look good by comparison.
Joey Lawrence – “Nothin’ My Love Can’t Fix”
Hey, do you guys remember Joey Lawrence? He’s that dope who was on Blossom and all he ever said was “Whoa!” because, hey, apparently that can be a catchphrase according to the brilliant writers of that show? Anyway, believe it or not he released his debut album at the age of 16, titled simply “Joey Lawrence.” The big single was a song called “Nothin’ My Love Can’t Fix” and shockingly, it rose to number six on the Billboard Hot 100 despite being bad enough that being forced to listen to it should be against the Geneva Convention.
Joe Pesci’s Entire “My Cousin Vinny” Inspired Album
Joe Pesci is an enjoyable little dude. He can somehow be scary as hell despite being approximately two feet tall, and he also has some terrific comedic chops, with both characteristics put on full display in the movie My Cousin Vinny. The movie was a smash success, but while a lot of successful movies spawn sequels or TV shows or, heck, even merchandise, this one spawned a freaking album of songs by Pesci in the character of Vinny. The album was called Vincent LaGuardia Gambini Sings Just For You, and it was released in 1998, a full six years after the movie came out. They should have just named it “Blatant and Embarrassing Cash Grab” and gotten it over with.
Serena Williams – Untitled Rap Song
Serena Williams is one of the greatest tennis players of all-time. She and her sister Venus have been dominant at various times during their careers, and the sense of invincibility probably made Serena feel like she could do anything. That’s probably why she thought it would be a good idea to record a rap song, which fortunately doesn’t seem to have ever been released except online. Why is that fortunate? Well, because it featured lyrics like “I ball hard no tennis racket/I can’t see these haters through my Gucci glasses” for starters. Yeah, she just tried to rhyme “racket” and “glasses.” Stick to your day job, Serena.