First things first, let’s not pretend that zombie movies are ever going to be exactly “normal.” After all, we’re talking about movies that center on the conceit that the dead will return to life and start feasting on living human flesh. It’s not a particularly normal idea, despite how prevalent it has become over the years. But even in the genre of zombie movies, there are some that, amazingly, manage to out-weird all of the others. Here are some of the most bizarre zombie movies you’ve almost certainly never seen. 1.
8The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies
In terms of titles, nothing is ever going to beat this for both the most peculiar and hilariously on the nose movie names. You may have actually seen this one if you’re a long-time fan of cult classic television show Mystery Science Theater 3000, as the crew on the Satellite of Love lampooned this particular 1964 feature for one episode. If you’re curious, that episode is currently on Netflix in America. Anyway, this movie takes place at a carnival and is about gypsies and curses and teenage hipster types, and it’s pretty much one of the most pointless, confusing movies ever made in any genre. Good luck trying to figure out what the hell is going on if you watch this one.
Have you ever watched a zombie movie and thought to yourself, “Hey, this sure could use some more sex and gratuitous nudity”? Well if so you’re in luck, because we present to you Bloodlust Zombies, a 2011 zombie movie starring porn actress Alexis Texas, who you may remember as that hot blonde from all of those movies you swear you’ve never watched in the privacy of your own home before. The film not only features Alexis Texas doing some random softcore porn but also tries to be a comedic zombie film filled with as much gore as boobs, which is certainly one way to go. It takes place in a 9-to-5 office type setting and, well, does it really matter? If you’re watching this, it’s because you want to see if Alexis Texas can actually act at all. Hint: no, no she cannot.
Apparently, zombie movies are popular among the adult entertainment crowd, as Alexis Texas was actually following in the footsteps of legendary porn actress Jenna Jameson, who “starred” in the film Zombie Strippers. The movie actually also starred Robert “Freddy Krueger” Englund, which is kind of sad considering he’s a dude with actual horror movie credentials, obviously. And if you couldn’t tell from the title, it revolves around strippers during a dystopian society in the not-too-distant future (which at this point is actually now the past), and basically consists of people trying to survive a zombie outbreak in the cozy confines of a strip club, where we can only assume they’re trying equally hard to avoid zombies and mysterious bodily fluids from the strip club regulars.
5Die You Zombie Bastards!
If we wanted to hold a contest for the cheapest possible zombie movie, then Die You Zombie Bastards would win in a landslide. Seriously, you couldn’t convince us they spent more than a couple hundred bucks on this thing, and even at that, we’d think they should have asked for their money back on that return. This is cheap in every sense of the word, too, as it basically becomes an exploitation film with a lot of gratuitous skin being shown, even if it’s the hilariously bright green skin of the “zombie” women who are running amok. The story actually revolves around a guy searching for his missing wife, and there are nefarious villains, ninjas, and…well, does it matter? If you’re watching this, it’s because of the boobs and the high quotient of unintentional comedy.
Believe it or not, athletics are a fairly popular avenue with zombie movies, as you’ll find with both this title and the next one on our list. But to the movie at hand, which is also known as Attack Girls Swim Team Versus the Undead, and that title basically sums up exactly what this movie is about. Basically, a high school swim team is forced to fight a zombie horde in the halls of their school after a mysterious virus spreads through, leaving most of their classmates dead and, well, undead. The fact that this is marketed as an “erotic zombie horror film” probably tells you all you need to know about this film. Because hey, nothing says “erotic” like rotting corpses!
Come on, did you really think we could make it through an entire list of bizarre movies without bringing in something from Japan? Battlefield Baseball isn’t your typical zombie film per se, since it is far from overt in even suggesting anyone is actually a zombie. However, one of the baseball teams – and yes, this actually is about baseball – is pretty clearly a team of murderous zombies with greyish, decaying flesh, who use their baseball bats to brutally kill their opponents in the most gruesome ways possible. Battlefield Baseball may not be a traditional zombie movie but one thing that cannot be denied is the fact that it is absolutely insane, by any measure.
2HARD ROCK ZOMBIES
This 1985 movie may actually take the cake for the most outlandish zombie movie premise we’ve ever heard of, to be perfectly honest. Hard Rock Zombies is about, and no, we are not making any of this up, a rock and roll group touring Europe that is killed by Adolf Hitler and then brought back to seek vengeance against the bizarre, perverted group of Nazis still roaming the small town in which they were killed. Not satisfied with just being a weird rock and roll-meets-Nazis zombie film, there are also sadistic dwarves, werewolves, and Eva Braun, for good measure. A word of advice for anyone seeking this title out: copious amounts of weed are undoubtedly needed to make it through to the final credits.
So, how do you make one of the most wildly offensive zombie films conceivable? Well, how about you take a recently killed, incredibly notorious terrorist leader and make him the focal point of said zombie film? That’s what happens with Osombie, which was funded through Kickstarter and tells the story of a yoga instructor who teams up with some special forces types to fight a zombified Osama Bin Laden. Yes, this film was actually made after Osama Bin Laden was killed so this movie basically suggests his reanimated corpse managed to climb out of the middle of the ocean and start a zombie apocalypse in the Middle East. Tasteless on so many levels, and flat out bizarre on a few more.