Used, One Previous Owner: 4 Celebrity Items Auctioned for Ridiculous Amounts

  • February 01, 2011
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There’s no denying that we’re a celebrity obsessed culture. From the magazines to the gossip blogs, we care deeply about our social betters. So it’s only natural that we’d want a piece of them to make our lives a little less wretched. The autographs, sports and movie memorabilia and other such items that can be found all over the internet are evidence of that. But sometimes fans and the celebs themselves can go a little overboard, resulting in some pretty bizarre exchanges, such as...


William Shatner and his Kidney Stone

Saying that William Shatner is ‘a crazy guy’ is a bit of a redundant statement, with post-Star Trek exploits including, at present, his infamous spoken word version of the Elton John classic ‘Rocketman’ during the 1978 Science Fiction Film Awards, his releasing of a (admittedly, quite badass) comic book series and related first-person shooter, and him flipping out after being caught cheating during a 1977 episode of The $20,000 Pyramid.


Also this. Why for the love of god, why?

However, it all reached a head in 2006 when, following an admission into hospital with severe back pain, he announced he was planning to auction off the culprit: a kidney stone. Proclaiming in a press release, he stated that: "This takes organ donors to a new height, to a new low, maybe. How much is a piece of me worth?"

Turns out, $25,000. The money, put up by (whose other purchases include a grilled cheese sandwich purported to show an image of the Virgin Mary and a VW Golf once owned by Pope Benedict XVI), was swiftly donated to charity though, so don’t be getting any ideas about this sort of thing.


It’s like gold in your urethra!


Scarlet Johansson and her Soggy Tissue

OK, so we’re off to a considerably weird start thanks to Ol’ Shats up there, but you kind of expect him to be a bit crazy with the auctions; for pete’s sake, if you had to pretend to live in space for ten years, you’d be a sackful of spaniels short of a toolbox as well. But what about somebody who has never ever shown any ounce of madness?


Pictured: Sweet, sweet sanity.

During a 2008 interview with Jay Leno, Scarlet Johansson, who was suffering from a cold, blew her nose on a tissue. Then bagged it. Then signed it. Then put it up on eBay, apparently because the cold was given to her by Leno himself, thus making it doubly-valuable. The tissue eventually sold for $5300, further proving this theory to be (sadly) correct.


Catching ebola from Kevin Costner in order to sell the resultant discharge? Worth it!

You have to wonder though. Why did she have a spare small plastic bag with her the day of the show? And a marker pen perfect for doing autographs? Actually doesn’t matter, we just remembered that she once sold someone a twenty-minute long date with herself for $32,000, so by comparison, this is completely mundane.


Elvis Presley and his Hair

Imagine you were a celebrity and all your good roles and gigs had been and gone, leaving you to scrape at the very bottom of the barrel in order to earn some cash.


But a-ha! One day your friends (the heroin addicted ones) tell you of this brand new way you could milk your fame and earn some serious money: selling your hair to fans! Looking at it initially, this seems like a good idea; your supply keeps constantly regrowing and you won’t look weird because everyone else is doing it! But what if someone took your hair without you knowing and kept it in their attic for 50-or-so years until you were nice and ripe in the ground? Which unethical money-hungry would do that?

Enter...quite a few people actually. First of all, there’s the guy from Wiltshire in England who sold a SINGLE STRAND of Presley’s hair for nearly $960, which is kind of paltry when you consider that a few months earlier, another man from England sold a single strand for $1700! Meanwhile, on this side of the pond, an entire lock of the stuff made $15,000. Jesus, we’re considering buying some of that just so that we can clone Elvis and then sell his hair all over again.


Oh yeah, and the music too, we guess


Madonna and her Used Underwear

Remember the 1993 film Body of Evidence? Starring Madonna? Anybody? Well anyway, to cut a long story short, a piece of underwear worn by Madonna in that film was sold by a ‘private gentlemens club’ (who themselves acquired it from another auction) in 2005 to an apparently quite-avid fan for $1900. The reason they were selling? Apparently the club was undergoing a period of remodelling and needed a ‘change’, but we think we all secretly know the real reason why.


F**king ghosts, that’s why

To give further credence to the ghost theory, it also appears that the original auction was cursed: it was deemed unsuitable for sale by eBay. Yes, Madonna’s used underwear is apparently in the same league as firearms and Nazi memorabilia. No arguments here.

Written by Adam Wears – Copyrighted © Image Sources

Image sources:

  • - William Shatner and his Kidney Stone:
  • - Scarlet Johansson and her Soggy Tissue:
  • - Elvis Presley and his Hair:
  • - Madonna and her Used Underwear:


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