Yeah, Ayatollah Khomeini was, by most reasonable standards, a jerk, what with the bombings and the religious sectarianism and the escalation of Mideast tensions and, oh yeah, the ongoing violent repression of his own people. But if we learned anything from this list, it’s that it’s good to be king when you’re dead, and as a result he’s getting not just a tomb, but a religious center with a massive parking lot that’ll take up about twenty square kilometers. He’s been dead for more than twenty years, and they’re still building this thing. At this rate, Iran will actually have a democracy before this is finished.
The Dukes of Hamilton in Scotland went on a major building tear in the 1800s, building a huge, elaborate palace and this mausoleum to go with it. This being Scotland, not exactly a quiet place, the mausoleum is all that’s left. But it’s still pretty impressive, standing at 123 feet tall and with more fancy stone and bronze work than you can shake a Victorian walking cane at. Also, due to the curving dome and the height, supposedly this is the place of the longest-lasting echo known to man. Which we guess makes up for nobody outside of Scotland knowing who the heck they are.
Sure, we could mention that Nezami Ganjavi is a giant in Persian literature, composing some of the greatest epic poetry in the Persian tradition. We could mention that it’s great that for once, somebody who isn’t some rich jerk or foppish royal gets a really awesome tomb. We could mention that it was actually rebuilt in 1991 to make it more grandiose.
But we’re sorry, it looks like a dong. I mean, come on. Look at that thing. It’s a dong. It’s obviously a dong. Who approved the dong-tomb? Who’d Nizami offend that he’s buried in a Brutalist Johnson? By the way, “Brutalist Johnson” would make a great name for a band, or a professional wrestler. You can use it.
The great thing about this tomb isn’t that there are three sheiks buried here, or that Mujibur Rahman made his declaration of independence from Pakistan here. Although we admit that’s pretty awesome and we bet that’s really important to the Bangladeshis.
No, what’s great about it is that it’s not just a tomb, it’s a race track. So you can go, pay your respects to some of the great cultural titans of Bangladeshi history, and then blow a wad at the track gambling. It just does not get better than that.
- - The Mausoleum of the First Emperor: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Xian_museum.jpg
- - The Taj Mahal: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:TajMahalbyAmalMongia.jpg
- - Adham Khan’s Tomb: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Adham_Khan_tomb_interior,_Mehrauli,_Delhi.jpg
- - Kimsusan Memorial Palace: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Kumsusan_Memorial_Palace,_Pyongyang.jpg
- - Grant’s Tomb: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:USA_grants_tomb.jpg
- - Khomeini’s Tomb: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Khomeini-shrine.JPG
- - Hamilton Mausoleum: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Hamilton_Mausoleum_Interior.jpg
- - Nizami Mausoleum: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Nizami_Mausoleum.jpg
- - Suhrawardy Udyan: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Tomb_Of_Three_Leader_3.A.M.R.jpg