The Ten Scariest Hot Sauces

  • October 03, 2010
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  • Lifestyle
  • Image Sources
5.

Wanza's Wicked Temptation

wanza

Tied with Demon Ichor, but ranking slightly higher for its mildly misleading label, is Wanza's Wicked Temptation. It's got the same heat: 2 million Scoville units. But it also has an alluring temptress on the bottle and not much in the way of indications that it's anything other than a fairly standard, plain old hot sauce. In other words, it's setting you up to light yourself on fire, and we just have to rank that a little higher, if for no other reason than the fact that Demon Ichor at least tells you what you're getting into.

4.

Magma 4

magma

We're kind of amusing that this is bundled with a sauce called "Frostbite", which is below a million, but it’s trying to be honest: after having Magma, it'll feeling cooling and soothing. That's because Magma lives up to its name: four million Scoville units.

Yes, we have, in fact, jumped two million Scoville units. Expect that to be pretty consistent for the rest of this list: the hot sauce wars do not do things in half measures. Speaking of which...

3.

357 Mad Dog Pepper Extract

mad

So, if a hot sauce manages to name itself after both an extremely scary and powerful firearm, and an even more scary and powerful cheap wine, namely the dreaded Mogdan David, you know it's a hot sauce deserving of your respect and fear, and this does not disappoint: it's five million Scoville Units.

Stop and consider for a moment how bad it is that a sauce that is about a thousand times hotter than your standard hot sauce only pulls third on this list. Third.

2.

The Source

the

You've got to respect anything that the manufacturer takes the time to put in its own special box. The Source is decidedly one of these products, offering a fairly mild presentation with mythological imagery and some text inside to explain what, exactly, you're paying for beyond pretty good graphic design. As it turns out, you are paying for 7,100,000 Scoville Units. Yes. Seven point one million. That's "burn your tongue off" hot. That's hotter than chemical mace. That's almost the hottest thing in the world.

There are a few other hot sauces that are hotter; ten million Scoville units, eleven million Scoville units, along those lines. But they're all from the same manufacturer, Blair, and we thought instead of goofing around with their second best, we'd present you with the single hottest sauce ever to be created:

1.

Blair's 16 Million Reserve

blair

Yep, it comes with a solid gold skull. Pretty neat, huh? But you don't care about that. You want to know how hot the hottest hot sauce that will ever exist is.

OK. Sixteen million Scoville units.

How do we know that's the hottest hot sauce that will ever exist? Because that's the highest the Scoville scale, our measure of spiciness, actually goes. That's pretty much pure capsaicin, the chemical that makes hot peppers burn so much. Essentially this is pure bottled pain.

And it's expensive, to boot. But then, how much do you really want it?

Tried something from the list? Got a new contender? Looking to post a video of you downing a bottle? Post below!

Written by Dan Seitz – Copyrighted © www.weirdworm.com Image Sources

Image sources:

  • - Unbearable: http://images.businessweek.com/ss/06/08/hot_sauce/image/unbearable.jpg
  • - Satan's Blood: http://www.reimerseeds.com/images/products/hotsauce/Satans_Blood_Hot_Pepper_Sauce.jpg
  • - Cool Million: http://www.hotsauceshack.com/images/coolmillion.jpg
  • - Pyro Diablo: http://www.pyrodiablo.com/images/hotsauce.gif
  • - Demon Ichor: http://www.skaffers.com/content/forsale/_l/ForSale_ID95Pic1.jpg
  • - Wanza's Wicked Temptation : http://www.hotsauce.com/v/vspfiles/photos/1952WW-2T.jpg
  • - Magma 4: http://sweatnspice.com/wp-content/uploads/wpsc/product_images/frostbite_magma.png
  • - 357 Mad Dog Pepper Extract: http://www.pepperschlepper.com/images/1163MD.jpg
  • - The Source: http://www.chez-williams.com/Hot%20Sauce/The_Source.jpg
  • - Blair's 16 Million Reserve: http://www.hotsauce.com/v/vspfiles/photos/MISC-Blairs-16-Million-2T.jpg
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