The Ten Saddest Collectible Card Games Ever

  • August 28, 2010
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Young Jedi


We'd love to toss this on the list just because of the painful association with the prequels, but this is actually a boring game on its own merits. If anything illustrates just how much George Lucas sold out, it's this puppy.

This game basically exists because nerds buy Star Wars stuff. And Lucas knows they'll just buy it, no matter how bad it is, no matter how much it costs. Granted, the game itself is OK, if a little unoriginal, but it's basically a board game packaged as a collectible card game. You can almost hear George Lucas counting his coins and giggling.

On the other hand, it's not like the Star Trek CCG was any better, so we guess exploiting fans is a common problem.




Speaking of exploiting fans… hey, kids, you know what's really fun? Getting together some of your favorite characters and watchin' 'em fight! Ain't it great? Ain't it fun? Aren't you willing to ignore the fact that we rushed this out the door to exploit anime fans when CCGs turned out to be incredibly popular?

As you might have guessed, this is even more nakedly mercenary than Young Jedi, which is at least playable. This mess mostly exists to rub it into anime fans' faces that they got ripped off. We're pretty sure that's actually a playable card: Tears of Fanboy.


Mortal Kombat


There were two things in gaming that were hot, we mean REALLY hot, in the mid to late '90s: collectible card games, and Mortal Kombat. Now, these sound like they'd go together like rancid badger meat and tile adhesive, but by gum, there was money to be made, so open wide and choke down that sticky, brain-destroying mess!

As you might guess, playing "Mortal Kombat" as a card game was substantially less fun than playing the game itself. Or playing the game in two-player, with your brother beating you a dozen times in a row. Or playing the game while eating some kind of badger-and-adhesive dish. Soon after, fatalities were renamed "The Sweet Release of Death"… the game was that antithetical to fun.


Fight Klub


You remember that song that went around the Internet a while back? The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny? Basically five solid minutes of pop culture references and a catchy chorus?

Somebody decided to license a bunch of movie and comic book characters and make a game out of it. So if you've ever wondered if Mr. Blonde from Reservoir Dogs could take down Tank Girl… get the heck out of the house! Or go back to your homework, because you're obviously a teenager. Shame on you! Come back after you're done.




Now, before we proceed, let's make one thing clear: we're big fans of Phil Foglio and James Ernest. They're talented men who make fun comics and fun games, respectively. We enjoy their work. But why they dedicated their time and energies to this, we'll never know.

"XXXenophile" was a comic about a woman… er… well… you see there are aliens… oh, you get the idea from the title! Now, anything involving “that” we generally want to play at home, by ourselves or with one other person. And the game is pretty funny, with items like a Godzilla suit. But still, it is kind of sad when you're playing a collectible card game, by yourself, with…

Let's…you know, this is a good place to stop the article, so why don't we just do that here. We've got a card game to go play.

Written by Dan Seitz – Copyrighted © Image Sources

Image sources:

  • - Hyborean Gates:
  • - Spellfire:
  • - Kult:
  • - Super Nova:
  • - SimCity:
  • - Young Jedi:
  • - Ani-Mayhem:
  • - Mortal Kombat:
  • - Fight Klub:
  • - XXXenophile: