We don't claim to know much about the long and storied history of Poland, but we know enough to state that if there's any country that has collectively earned a drink, it's probably among the top five. Might even take the crown. Go read up on Poland's history in Wikipedia: Poland has not been a happy place for a very long time.
And, of course, people try to combat this in the most effective manner possible, by making booze. Polish vodka is renowned throughout the world, but no vodka really sums up why it's esteemed quite like Spirytus, which just gets the BS out of the way and weighs in at 86% alcohol.
Yes, that's an eight and a six next to each other. And that's a magic number when it comes to vodka, because, let's face it, vodka exists to be either put into cocktails or consumed as quickly as possible to take the edge off as quickly as possible. And we're guessing the Polish need plenty of both, probably after the third time some American decides that Polish helicopter joke is the funniest thing ever.
Wait, do people still tell Polish jokes, or have they all reverted to dumb blonde jokes by now?
Until most of the booze on this list, Everclear is the one kind of alcohol most people reading this have probably consumed. You might wonder why, as Everclear has a just reputation as one of the foulest things you can consume to get drunk before you start exploring avenues of denatured alcohol and drinks that cause blindness, like rubbing alcohol, cologne, and any product of the Coors corporation (excepting Blue Moon, which isn't bad). Well, the answer is pretty simple.
Ever hear of Jungle Juice?
Yes, next to tequila, there's no spirit that introduces college freshmen to the joys of hangovers, vomiting, and alcohol poisoning quite like mixing cheap fruit punch and a dozen bottles of Everclear in a trash can and makes pledges drink. And the reason it's so…effective is because it's 95% booze.
Yes, there are windshield wiper solutions with lower alcohol content. And you probably drank it. Feel proud, frat boys!
Finally we come to the one, the thankfully only, the thankfully obscure, Estonian liquor. Remember how we were talking about the Polish, and how they had it bad? Well, we've got no idea what went on in Estonia, partially because the Kremlin destroyed all the records, and then hacked Estonia with DDoS to keep the word from getting out, but we can hazard a guess that it was really, really bad.
So bad that Estonian Liquor is 98% alcohol. It even has a Guinness entry as the strongest booze ever.
Here's what we're wondering, did anyone drink this stuff? Or did it just serve as a bartender's method of shutting up loudmouths? Or did they just light it on fire?
Honestly, that's kind of what we'd do, because we like fire. Fire is our friend. Pretty, pretty alcoholic fire.
Know some hooch we missed? Got a recipe for the family moonshine? Post below!
- - Sam Adams Utopias: http://beverage20.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/samadams_utopia.jpg
- - Tactical Nuclear Penguin: http://tacticalpants.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/tactical-nuclear-penguin-bottles.jpg
- - Sink the Bismarck! Quadruple IPA: http://thefullpint.com/main/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/brewdog-sink-the-bismarck.jpg
- - Spirytus: http://www.sklep.bizpol.pl/images/spirytus_05.jpg
- - Everclear: http://media.photobucket.com/image/everclear%20liquor/ruemke/alcohol/everclear.jpg
- - Estonian Liquor: http://www.inyourpocket.com/img/estonia/tallinn/est_ta_feature_spirits1.jpg