Paul Newman, “The Silver Chalice”
Paul Newman has had, of course, a storied, brilliant career. He’s been in sensitive dramas, awesome action movies and…one very regrettable epic. That would be “The Silver Chalice”.
How bad was Newman in the movie? So bad, that when this came back to haunt him during his rising stardom, he actually took out ads with his own money to tell people to actively avoid this bomb. Luckily for him, they did, and he continues to be remembered for both his talent and his salad dressings.
Johnny Depp, “Private Resort”
One doesn’t normally associate Johnny Depp with boobies, even though he can probably summon them with a gesture. But back when he was just the dude from “21 Jump Street", he had to take any jobs he could get, and this '80s jubbly-fest was one of them.
The basic plot is Johnny Depp can't get in the pants of hot women, because he's still the loser from "21 Jump Street" instead of the unshowered chick magnet he'd turn into once Tim Burton got his hands on them. Believe it or not, it was actually based on the classic French film "Last Year at Marienbad", but by the time they were finished rewriting the script, it had almost no resemblance to the finished product.
Also, we made that last part up.
Milla Jovovich, “Return to the Blue Lagoon”
It's the words that get nerds everywhere all hot and bothered: "multi pass". But before Milla Jovovich became a gibberish-spouting hot chick who could beat you ups, a role she hasn't stopped playing since about 1995, she was Brooke Shield's replacement for a crappy sequel to a really, really crappy movie.
The original caused a hubbub because it was about children turning into teenagers, who, to the shock of nobody who has ever been around teenagers, start getting romantically involved with each other. And it also has a copout ending, but we're getting ahead of ourselves.
Milla mostly wants to forget this one because she was nominated for Worst New Star at the Golden Raspberries. She didn't win…but with her career, it's all but inevitable.
- - Arnold Schwartzenegger, “Hercules In New York”: http://www.filmcynic.com/movies/worst-posters/hercules-in-new-york.jpg
- - Kevin Costner, “Sizzle Beach USA”: http://topzona.ru/uploads/posts/2009-12/1259766161_pic_id635350.jpeg
- - Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger, “Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation”: http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0767833902.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
- - Robin Williams, “Can I Do It ‘Till I Need Glasses?”: http://www.boulevardmovies.com/images/P/can-i-do-it-glasses.jpg
- - Paul Newman, “The Silver Chalice”: http://www.impawards.com/1954/posters/silver_chalice.jpg
- - Johnny Depp, “Private Resort”: http://coleccionesdedvd.blogdiario.com/img/privateresort.jpg
- - Milla Jovovich, “Return to the Blue Lagoon”: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/7c/ReturnBlueLagoon1991.jpg