The Five Nastiest Databases on the Internet

  • July 26, 2010
  • 30,265
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4.

The Sex Terms Database

databases

One of the biggest problems a Weird Worm writer faces is understanding the unique, ah, bedroom amusements requested of him by the legions of beautiful women (and men, for the ladies and the curious) that assault our offices on a regular basis. This is where the Sex Terms Database comes in handy. Unfortunately, that means reading the entire database.

You see, although the author has performed what can only be called a public service, he didn't really alphabetize or create a sortable list, or really do anything other than post a text file on his website that contains all the sexual terms he could find. This extends to putting spaces between paragraphs to enable easy reading. So basically, what you have is an extensively long list of sexual terms in no particular order, extending everywhere from verbs to complex acts that would probably get you arrested for doing them in a few states.

This means you'll learn a lot about human depravity without ever wanting to. By reading this database, you'll discover depths rarely plumbed even on the Internet, even by those really creepy guys who have watched so much porn that they're absolutely jaded and unable to be interested in anything except lesbian Japanese schoolgirls in gas masks or something. We haven't slept in weeks. Have fun!

5.

The Profanity Database

profanity

And, finally, we come to the most important database of all: the Profanity Database, which is, suitably, located on a website about Las Vegas. Granted, the site design is like a blister on your eye, but this is invaluable. This site collects every possible permutation of profanity and sticks it right up there for the entire Internet to enjoy.

Granted, it does ask that users enter their own swear words, and we all know what happens when you give the Internet free reign to do anything. Among such charmingly innocent terms, "Avada Kadavra", "China", "Tyke", and "ViperSniper" are entered as profanity… and what's sad is that people have voted them up. Yes, a Harry Potter term, the name of a country, a noun that describes a small child, and what's probably some moron's CounterStrike nickname (or possibly the alias of a guy who wrote a World of Warcraft walkthrough; that pops up on Google).

Even for this list, we're not sure what that says about the quality of our species. Run a pretty shocking database of your own? Got the address of another? Let's hear about it in the comments! Written by Dan Seitz – Copyrighted © www.weirdworm.com Image Sources

Image sources:

  • - The Racial Slur Database: http://www.teks.co.in/teks/images/database.gif
  • - The Celebrity Nudity Database: http://www.softsia.com/screenshots/Database-Software-Icons_gt2q.jpg
  • - The World Slang Database: http://myesllab.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/slang.jpg
  • - The Sex Terms Database: http://greencanada.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/databases.jpg
  • - The Profanity Database: http://shareme.com/images/large/Canadian_Postal_Code_Database__Premium_Edition__vOctober-2350.jpg
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