The 7 Most Pointless Books by “Celebrities”

  • February 23, 2010
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Paris Hilton

Book: Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue-in-Chic Peek Behind the Pose

See what she did there, substituting chic for cheek? Man, what a brilliant wit on that gal. Of course I guess she had to stretch those imagination muscles, since the title “One Night in Paris” was already taken. Ahem.

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One of the original “why the hell is she famous, again?” celebrities in America, Paris might just be partially responsible for the gradual erosion of television and intelligence in the US. Let’s take a look at what made her famous: she’s the granddaughter of the dude who started Hilton hotels, and she made an awful sex tape. And as if coming from a successful family and making homemade porn weren’t enough to qualify her as an author, starring in several reality shows showcasing her idiocy certainly did. Remember the days when people that we knew were stupid were never allowed to write books? Ah, the good old days…

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George Hamilton

Book: Don’t Mind if I Do

Now here’s what’s kind of sad: unlike the rest of the people on this list, George Hamilton was once famous for an actual reason. And now he’s just an old guy with a ridiculous tan who occasionally pops up in commercials for nuts.

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The thing is, this book actually got decent reviews. It’s just a shame that he waited until no one knew who the hell he was to actually write it.

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Britney Spears

Book: Heart to Heart

Now you knew that no list of total celebrity trainwrecks would be complete without an offering from Ms. Spears, who used to be famous for her “singing talent” (*cough*schoolgirl outfit*cough*) and is now famous for being both a terrible mom and completely batshit insane. And apparently when she’s not making crappy music, movies, or babies, she’s writing equally crappy books.

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The book, co-authored by her mother Lynne, apparently tells the inspirational tale of a mother who pushed her daughter into showbiz, fame and fortune, the three of which subsequently ruined her life and made her a punchline. Wait, is that inspiring? Can a cautionary tale be inspirational? Hell, if people like Britney Spears can write a book, I guess anything is possible.

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Written by Jeff Kelly – Copyrighted © Image Sources