Create a Video Resume
While a video resume is a pretty good idea if you’re an actor or looking to get into marketing, sometimes it’s simply not the best way to represent yourself. But if you’re decided to do a video resume, at least make sure to avoid these basic mistakes.
1. Don’t dance in your video resume, and if you must dance, don’t strip; no one wants to see your naked torso. Also make sure you spell resume with an s.
2. Make sure that you’re video makes sense. For example when applying for a game writer position, don’t use reasons like “I can pretend to play guitar and lift empty jugs.”
3. Then there is the video made by Aleksey Vayner who is somewhat of an internet celebrity because of his ridiculous video resume. For the love of God please don’t talk about how much you can bench press if you’re applying for a job as a banker!
Write a brutally honest cover letter (bonus points if it’s insulting)
You probably heard that cover letters aren’t as important as your resume. This doesn’t mean that you should completely blow it by insulting the person hiring you. But rest assured that even if you somehow do insult them, you’re not as bad as the Mike Hendricks who managed to insult the whole field of PR while applying for a PR position. Here are some lines from his letter.
"Frankly, if there's a pr person above the pr specialist, I'm probably qualified for that job, too."
"Many PR people are skilled at what they do. Yet many others are simply nice but don't have a clue how to sell a story."
"That said, I would be happy to submit an application, but I'd hate to be wasting your time and mine if it turns out this is some minor league position with a paltry salary."
Of course he proceeded to get angry when he was not hired, insulting the hiring manager and calling them an idiot. We’re sure he has a bright future ahead of him.
If everything else fails just sue someone (doesn’t really matter who)
In case your job search is not going as planned why not sue someone. Who? Anyone really, maybe your college, after all it’s their fault that you were too lazy to send out applications and show up for interviews. A girl in New York demanded $72,000 from her college because she couldn’t find a position good enough for her.
Or maybe you could sue the hiring managers even though you had no intention of applying for the position. A department chair at a university in Arkansas claimed he was discriminated against because the university didn’t offer him a position he never applied for. Hey, why not sue Microsoft for not choosing you as a CEO? It’s discrimination!
And if by some weird coincidence you do get a job, just sue the people who hired you for not hiring you earlier. If they hired you it’s obvious you were the right candidate, but they were discriminating against you.
- - Ask for a job at gun point : http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/1783/taco.jpg
- - Walk around with an old time sandwich boards?: http://www.seattlemet.com/image_cache/assets/0001/8844/sandwich-board.jpg
- - Just pretend you actually work there : http://planetlandon.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/office-space-06_full1.jpg
- - Create a Video Resume: http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/4116/anthonyz.jpg http://img63.imageshack.us/img63/4145/secondt.jpg http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/801/alep.jpg
- - Write a brutally honest cover letter (bonus points if it’s insulting): http://th02.deviantart.net/fs50/300W/f/2009/317/7/7/I_Fucking_Love_Coloring_by_tranmonster.jpg
- - If everything else fails just sue someone (doesn’t really matter who): http://www.craigharper.com.au/uploaded_images/angry-woman-753939.jpg