Stupid Photos and Obnoxious Tourists

  • April 19, 2010
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5. Dark places, you know the flash sucks, and if the flash on your awesome camera does not suck, your eyes will end up being red. There is a big chance of random creepy guy playing a cameo role in your picture. Remember, the zits on your face cannot be hidden by the dark.

6. Street signs, other than placing your life of risk of being run over and delaying pedestrians, you may not have heard of the internet. Allow me to remind you that the internet has all these pictures, hell, that’s why the internet was invented for all I care. So next time you have the urge to pull your camera to take a road sign picture, think about it. Just enjoy the vacation, do not worry about documenting it.

7. Stay classy; do not try to make it look if the tall edifice such as, Eiffel Tower, Washington Monument or the Empire States appear as if they are part of your pe?*s…we all know that your dilemma with what you are stuck with. And also you are not holding the leaning tower of Pizza from falling down, how would you like to do that for the rest of your life?

8. Historical places, history is boring and it will never make you look hot, no one cares anymore about historical sites. In fact the only ones who might care about history are the same ones who do not own a digital camera or a computer. Just enjoy the place and allow others to enjoy is because no one will read your blog post about it.

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Be courteous to others when you parachute into somebody’s home town, you know some of us live here. Unlike your home town that no one cares for, we are popular. Use cameras only where there are no people around. Yes, that also includes using your mediocre camera on my phone. I am sure even the Amish do not appreciate your attempt to picture them and their buggies without their consent. Sure, you are optimistic and just stocked to be on vacation, toting your camera everywhere you go, taking pictures of anything and everything. Gosh I hope your camera gets snagged by a robber who would later sell it to me for cheap on Craigslist.

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Sure, you now have brand new cameras. There's nothing more annoying to locals than a group of people who suddenly stop in front of them on the sidewalk, stare up at nothing, aim their cameras at that nothing and gawk at them waiting for the right moment to capture that piece of art they think they are capable of producing. Look, stop blocking our way, your town is laid back, your never rush to catch a bus to go to your Blue Collar job, but we either way everywhere or take a bus. Dumb tourist like your majesty stop dead center in the sidewalk to try to take a photo with his phone...it is irritating. However, be aware that you will only be surrounded by other map flaunting tourists there as we the locals avoid these attractions like the plague.

One benefit is that you don't have to contend with the locals of the city you chose to grace with your presence. You can take pictures freely and not be given the evil eye, if you are not on anyone’s way. But please stop taking pictures in the middle of nowhere or where no one expects you to want to take a picture—like when you see a dumpster in city alley and you feel inspired. If you must, do so discreetly. Don't get carried away with the megapixels, lenses, memory cards that you forget the best reason to own a digital camera: it's just plain fun for you and pain for the locals.

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Allow me a word to Asians and South East Asians folks who make the nicest tourists. Yes, we know that you tend to have the nicest cameras and many envy you for their savvy ways and growing economy. However, STOP traveling in packs which block my way too often. Too many times you are pushing a baby stroller that also slows you down, but you do not care. You love to take pictures of yourself resurrecting goofy gestures that used to be cool in the 80s.

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Also as someone who grew up in developing countries I came to resent how tourists with their flashy cameras take pictures of the ugliest part of life in the countries they are visiting. They chase down the trash man, the homeless person, the kid running with no shoes not sure why they would do these things, maybe to remind themselves of how privileged they are to have shoes, and cool cameras—never mind their huge credit card bill and high interest rate would be awaiting them as they return home. So next time when you are in my town and you say cheese and happen to be on my way…I will make sure to stuff that cheese down your throat.

Written by Hanitizer – Copyrighted © www.weirdworm.com

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Image sources:

  • http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/4481.jpg http://digital-photography-school.com/wp-content/tourist-cameras.jpg http://www.techpin.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/olympus-mju-stylus-1050-sw-rugged-digital-waterproof-camera.jpg http://www.wtftoday.eu/wp-content/2009/11/wtf_camera_skills.jpg http://images.lightstalkers.org/images/513822/TouristChina2006_large.jpg http://www.snapmania.com/info/en/trm/pics/tourist.jpg
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