Real Life Superheroes Would Probably Be Jerks

  • March 29, 2014
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Ordinary People Would Lose Jobs

Not everyone is going to have superpowers, right? That means there are still going to be the everyday, average Joe’s going about their business trying to earn a living. Only the thing is, with real life superheroes running around doing their thing, some of those businesses would start to become obsolete. Say you’re the only superhero in a relatively small town in the Midwest, and you decide to be a good citizen and start fighting crime. Wouldn’t that render what we would assume to be at best a moderately sized police force to be rendered useless? At best, they’d become caretakers of the prisoners you keep swooping up, but you can’t pay an entire staff to simply babysit a few criminals now and then, so there would be a rash of staff cutbacks. And if suddenly half of the population could fly, what would that do to not just the airline industry, but the auto and train industries, too? Who needs to buy an expensive car when you can just fly everywhere?


The Damage Would be Catastrophic Physically and Financially

At this point it’s kind of obvious to point to the recent film Man of Steel and look at the absolute carnage that one single brawl between Superman and Zod does to the whole of Metropolis. Thousands of people must have been killed, and in all likelihood billions of dollars in damages have been inflicted upon the city. Who is going to clean that up? And what happens when another villain comes out of the woodwork and it’s up to you and your superpowers to stop them at all cost yet again? The city will be bankrupted over and over trying to repair the damage, and as soon as things are finally settling down, they’ll just have to do it all over again because some other tool in a cape decides it’s his turn to try to rule the world. There’s no way to sustain any semblance of an economy if the cities are constantly being destroyed, meaning more people will begin to flee to the countryside, leaving businesses deserted and turning each city you protect into a barren wasteland because, at the end of the day, it’s just not worth trying to rebuild again.


It Would Turn Everyone with Powers into Jerks

There are very few Mother Teresa’s out there, who only do aspire to do good. The rest of us have flaws and vices, and if you were to add superpowers into the equation, things would get completely out of control. We already mentioned how everyone would start robbing banks to support their crime fighting habits and use other powers to spy on naked girls and just generally be skeezy, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. It goes back to one of the themes of the acclaimed series Watchmen, which asks, “Who watches the Watchmen?” And the answer is: nobody. Because no one is equipped, so what is to stop a god among men like Superman from just deciding one day to simply live above the law, take what he wants, and do what he wants? It’s nice to think that most of us are good enough people to know better than to go down that path, but take a look around at the power hungry people in the world. Look at politicians, look at guys like Donald Trump, and ask yourselves – if those guys had superpowers, how royally screwed would we all be?

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