Four Frightening (and Real) Robots

Posted on April 15, 2010
Views: 420,269

Subscribe to our newsletter

Advertisements

Back in the olden days, people would sit around their living rooms, light up fancy cigars and talk about the future. They'd also try to guess what color looked like, given that everything was black and white, but I'm getting sidetracked now. Back to the future, people.If you were to somehow travel back in time to tell these olde-timeys that the future would forgo flying cars in favor of men made of metal, they would probably guffaw, call you a chowder head and adjust their suspenders before heading out to the talking picture show with their best dame Beatrice. But the future is now, and now is robots. Most of the robots we build serve an explicit purpose, like building cars and reemploying the people who used to build cars. Others, however, manage to operate on a second level. That level, dear reader, is one of terror.

1.

TOPIO

Some robots are designed to kill human beings. Others are designed to kill other robots. But when there's nothing left to kill, what do we do with our robots? We make them play sports. TOPIO began development in 2005 as a humanoid robot designed to play table tennis. Built by a Vietnamese robot firm, TOPIO confirms at least two things for us: mankind has run out of useful things to do as a whole and Vietnam has robot firms, apparently.

TOPIO's main features are the ability to recognize fast moving objects, to react to fast moving objects and to maintain balance. In other words, TOPIO does what any human would do if they took up the lost art of table tennis. Unlike your typical table tennis enthusiast, however, TOPIO looks like this:

topio

Is this part of the T-1000's vacation slides? If the goal of TOPIO was to build a robot that would mindlessly play a tier-three sport and not cause those who see it to cry out in fear, then mission failed. The shades say “I'm going to kill you, fleshbag,” while the jacked physique says “No, really, I'm going to kill you. And no one's going to stop me because the laws of men don't apply to a machine. If you'd read Issac Asimov in high school you would have known that already.”

2.

Roxxxy

If the past is any indication, humankind as a whole will someday get bored with robots. We tend to latch onto new technology pretty quickly, find ways to make it more useful, then try to expand on it to make it more efficient. Rather than let the linear passage of time take its course, someone peered into the mists of the future, saw people having sex with robots and made it a terrifying yet slightly arousing reality.

roxxxy

Roxxxy True Companion sells itself as “the world's first and highest quality sex robot doll.” To break that down a bit more, Roxxxy is a machine that you're supposed to stick your penis in, but its okay because it looks sort of like an actual lady and not your mother's vacuum cleaner hose. The folks at True Companion spent two and a half years making Roxxy as realistic as possible, from the feel of her skin to her ability to have orgasms. At least, the website claims she can simulate real orgasms. I can happily live out the rest of my days without confirming whether or not that's true.

Because spending precious years of your life developing a sexbot that looks like a crime scene victim might come off as a little weird, the development team also gave Roxxxy the ability to carry conversations, change personality and to fill the emotional void in your life as well as the physical one. But Roxxxy costs upwards of seven thousand dollars. Would you buy a sex robot for seven thousand dollars just to talk to it? Of course not. That's like drinking a Tanqueray without first putting a diamond in it. Roxxxy was made specifically for the refined sexual deviant who wants to have sex with a highly sophisticated piece of machinery but doesn't want to admit that to any of his friends.

Advertisements
Random
Page 1 of 4
Loading...

Latest Articles

Makeup Artist Transforms Her Face Into Her Favorite Cartoon Characters

Makeup Artist Transforms Her Face Into Her Favorite Cartoon Characters

Laura Jenkins is a London based brilliant makeup artist who brings various cartoon characters to life on her own face, or to be more precise on her mouth. This is what happens when...

5 Most Unique and Unusual Islands - #3 Is it Cute or Creepy?

5 Most Unique and Unusual Islands - #3 Is it Cute or Creepy?

For most of us islands hold a certain mystique. It could be their seclusion that entices us, or the perceived difficulty of reaching them. Others are relatively untouched and...

5 Ad Campaigns That Backfired - #5 With True Message

5 Ad Campaigns That Backfired - #5 With True Message

It's fair to say that in the digital age we're beaten over the head with advertising on a regular basis. With constant exposure to commercials, banner ads, and other spots trying...

7 Utterly Bizarre Assassination Attempts

7 Utterly Bizarre Assassination Attempts

Assassinations are a dirty part of global politics and warfare, and as you can probably guess there are tons of attempts on the lives of political leaders that you never even hear...

15 of the Scariest Urban Legends From Around the World

15 of the Scariest Urban Legends From Around the World

Everyone loves a good old fashioned urban legend. People love getting a good scare, and something about urban legends just makes it feel like these things could have actually...

15 Myths About History You Probably Believe

15 Myths About History You Probably Believe

It turns out that a lot of what you were reading in history textbooks was wrong, and some of the things you believe are either skewed by false information passed down through the...

8 Prettiest Nations in Europe

8 Prettiest Nations in Europe

It might be hard to tell the difference between women in Europe, but every man with a keen eye will tell you exactly why these nations have the prettiest women.

13 Things You Didn’t Know About the Lord of the Rings Movies

13 Things You Didn’t Know About the Lord of the Rings Movies

The Lord of the Rings will go down as one of the greatest movie trilogies in history, and this year Peter Jackson’s follow-up trilogy The Hobbit will be coming to a close as...

13 Crazy World Records You Won’t Believe People Bothered to Set

13 Crazy World Records You Won’t Believe People Bothered to Set

These are the people who work on breaking and re-breaking world records that no one in their right mind would ever even consider as a legitimate thing. You know, the records that...

13 Famous Fictional Characters You Didn’t Know Were Based on Real People

13 Famous Fictional Characters You Didn’t Know Were Based on Real...

Through all mediums of entertainment - music, movies, books, and so forth - we get attached to the truly great, fleshed out characters who just jump off the page or screen and...