Five Terrifying Superheroes of the Golden Age

  • March 08, 2010
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Miss Victory

Fed up with crooked politicians running amok in Washington, Joan Wayne does what any reasonable woman would do: puts on a costume and starts beating ass.

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“Suck on that, Senator!”

Her powers include super strength, speed and invulnerability. It's never really explained how she become God's mistake or why no one is concerned with the woman cracking the skulls of state representatives.

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She's apparently too good for doors, too.

Miss Victory is usually accepted as the first patriotic heroine in comic books, which explains why she skimped out on the back story a bit. Still, she's free to break the legs of anyone she perceives unjust, but I can't take a tour of the White House without running the gauntlet of full-body scans, metal detectors and cavity searches? That's just sexist.


Atomic Thunderbolt

After World War II, super heroes had to find a new threat to rise up against once Miss Victory personally murdered every last mid-west mayor with her cold, freedom-loving hands. Professor Josiah Rhonne latched onto the growing nuclear threat. He eventually came up with a theory that could only be born after a night of intense drinking: if he could alter every human being on the atomic level to be immune to the effects of radioactivity, we could drop all the wacky bombs we want! But because people-weapon alchemy had long since been disproved, Rhonne needed a test subject. Deciding to go big or go home on the whole “crazy” thing, he opted to use a man whose brain was damaged by a Nazi torpedo. Yeah, I don't think he ran this by the ethics committee at all.

Once the experiment is underway, Rhonne botches something or another (who would have guessed?) and an explosion transforms the once mentally deficient veteran hero into the Atomic Thunderbolt, a costumed hero who fights petty criminals with the powers of flight and atomic energy bolts, which I can only assume result in a long, cancer related death. Having created a monster, but a good kind of monster, Rhonne's dream of atomic people is never realized and the scientific community moves on to the next wacky idea, like bees filled with smaller bees or sex with robots.

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You should probably get those red spots checked out, bro.

Atomic Thunderbolt is in the running for the most unintentionally tragic origin story ever. Seriously, he's almost sent to a water grave by a Nazi sub, manages to survive only to have the world's worst scientist blast him with atomic energy until something happens. How is Rhonne not running the Legion of Doom?

Written by NN – Copyrighted © Image Sources

Image sources:

  • - Daredevil:
  • - Ghost Rider:
  • - Lady Satan:
  • - Miss Victory:
  • - Atomic Thunderbolt: