Oh those wacky Brits. Not content to just use actual pigs to make delicious candies, they also decided back in the early 20th century that what people wanted more than anything was to eat little confections that looked like infants. Because after all, nothing says “delicious” like the thought of shoving a small child into you mouth.
Jelly Babies are basically like Gummi Bears, only instead of bears, they are actually TINY HUMANS. The perfect treat for aspiring cannibals, they come in a variety of colors and flavors, because even cannibals appreciate diversity. They come in lemon, lime, raspberry, orange, and assorted other flavors and absolutely make our skin crawl due to the whole concept around this little snack. Since 2007, the candies have contained only natural ingredients. Oh God – Jelly Babies are people! Where’s Charlton Heston when you need him?
Okay, now it’s just getting ridiculous. We can understand using actual pig ingredients in the making of candy, really. But who was the extremely disturbed person who saw a pig taking a crap and immediately thought, “Eureka! I’ve just had a brilliant idea for candy”?
Whoever it was, he went on to create Porky Pooper. Now, it’s not so much the candy itself that’s gross, it’s the container in which it comes. The candy in question is actually just jelly beans, after all. The problem is, they come out of a pigs butt. And they are brown in color. Basically, this means that someone, sometime thought it would be a hilarious idea to create a candy dispenser that made it appear as though you were eating poop. On the bright side, at least only this one person had the idea, right?
Oh, for God’s sake. Well, no more than two people could have had this idea. There is absolutely no way that more than two people would think it a good idea to create a candy that makes you feel like you’re eating feces. There’s just no way, right?
Oh come on!
- - Spermies: http://www.oddyap.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/spermies_candy_no_salt_added2.jpg
- - Percy Pigs: http://www.englishforum.ch/attachments/food-drink/7612d1245689176-percy-pigs-m-s-percy-pigs.jpg
- - Uncle Urnie’s Candy Ashes: http://crimescene.com/store/index.php?main_page=popup_image&pID=702&zenid=h83ado7ahaiq2ueef6pm53f2e7
- - Formula Pee: http://www.niftycandy.com/formulape/fp.jpg
- - Jelly Babies: http://www.aquarterof.co.uk/images/jelly_babies_bag.jpg
- - Porky Pooper: http://failorfunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/poo-lar-bear.jpg
- - Poo-lar Bear: http://thelaughterstore.com/store/bmz_cache/4/42301344869097d694f44baf0b0e7538.image.750x367.jpeg
- - Chocka Ca-Ca: http://www.take-it-from-us.com/i/f4green%20Images/ccdisplayc.jpg