8 Insane Gold Products

  • May 10, 2010
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5.

The Golden Opulence Sundae

If you work out what this costs in terms of actual ice cream, it's $200 a scoop for a five-scoop sundae. And you only get vanilla. On the other hand, you also get the world's most expensive chocolate sauce, "exotic candied fruits", and, for no explicable reason, truffles, because nothing says "dessert" like mushrooms. You also get "dessert caviar", which just sounds incredibly gross, and it's served in a crystal goblet with a gold spoon.

This is made by an immigrant who works for less than minimum wage. It’s actually the tears he sheds as he builds that it that really ties the whole dish together.

the golden opulence sundae

6.

The Frozen Haute Chocolate

Not to rest on their laurels after creating a $1000 sundae, the owners of Serendipity3 decided to go one better and create a $25,000 dessert. Nothing says "I'm a massive jerk" like spending the cost of a pretty good new car on something that isn't even a full meal.

By the way, did we mention that Serendipity3 turned out to be a roach infested hellhole? Hey, guys, instead of buying edible gold by the truckload, you might want to consider hiring a janitor

the frozen haute chocolate

7.

The Gold-Studded Bagel

This one we'll actually give some credit to; while this bagel, with its white truffle cream cheese and gold leaf all over the top, is the most ridiculous thing we've ever seen done to a bagel, at least the profits from this went towards culinary school scholarships for the needy.

On the other hand, we've got to ask if this was really the best way to raise money. This thing is not cheap, being a thousand dollar bagel, and you have to order it 24 hours in advance. So why not just donate all the money from this superbagel to, oh, we don't know, those culinary scholarships up front? Doesn't that make a little sense? A teeny little bit of sense? Like at all? Hello? Bueller?

the gold studded bagel

8.

The Gold Risotto

We thought we'd cap this off with what is, by far, the laziest use of gold we've ever seen. Behold! The gold risotto! What's in it? Everything you'd normally make in a risotto, but with gold leaf on top!

Yeah, he didn't even bother to stir it into the rice or something. He literally just puts a square of gold leaf on it like a butter slab and calls it a day. It's supposed to be a mind-blowingly good risotto, but apparently, you just can't sell a rice dish to the rich unless it has something on it proving how rich they are.

By the way, we've been meaning to tell you: gold doesn't really digest that well. So anybody eating this, it's literally just going to leave out the other end, which is kind of justice, we think. Sparkly crap turns into…well…sparkly crap.

And with that, we leave you to ponder the fairness of the capitalist system while we ponder whether if maybe the Russian peasants of early 1910’s weren’t on to something.

the gold risotto

Written by Dan Seitz – Copyrighted © www.weirdworm.com Image Sources

Image sources:

  • - Gold Chocolate : http://www.delafee.com/luxury-chocolate-gift.php
  • - Gold Cigars : http://www.delafee.com/luxury-cigar-gift.php
  • - Gold Lollipop : http://www.delafee.com/romantic-gift-lollipop.php
  • - Gold vodka : http://www.luxist.com/2007/08/24/gold-flakes-vodka/
  • - The Golden Opulence Sundae : http://www.dailyolive.com/got_1000_why_no.html
  • - The Frozen Haute Chocolate : http://www.luxist.com/2007/11/08/serendipity-3-creates-the-worlds-most-expensive-dessert/
  • - The Gold-Studded Bagel : http://www.luxist.com/2007/11/07/breakfast-of-champions-the-1-000-bagel/
  • - The Gold Risotto : http://www.caterersearch.com/Articles/2007/07/06/200088/gold-leaf-saffron-risotto-by-gualtiero-marchesi.htm
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