8 Camera Type Choices Explained

Posted on January 18, 2011
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In our culture today, a picture is absolutely worth a thousand words. A drunk picture on Facebook says, "I really have no grasp about the true reach of social networking, or else I know and I just don't care." A framed, posed family photo on the living room wall says, "I've learned how to live my life based on 90's sitcoms." And a steamy, well-worn print in a wallet says "I'm old-fashioned. Also, I never discovered the internet."

To learn more about how the ways that people take pictures say as much as, if not more than, the pictures themselves, read on.

1.

Disposable Camera

camera

Disposable cameras are perfect for distribution at weddings, bar mitzvahs, funerals, or any other time when you want to capture your guests 'in the moment,' and not have to shell out bucks for an actual professional photographer.

If you agree with the above statement, here is why your reasoning is wrong: 1) At least half of the people at your event will own actual, real-life cameras - unless you're in the backwoods of beyond. At least half of those people will be sober enough and talented enough to take decent pictures. And at least one will remember to actually give you the photos. So basically, you've just wasted a bunch of money. 2) It is physically impossible to take good pictures with a disposable camera unless the light of a beneficent god is shining down on you. 3) You will never see so many unwanted pictures of private anatomical features in your life.

And seriously? You can't spend a few hundred bucks to make sure that you capture once-in-a-lifetime memories? What's the point of even having an event if you don't take good pictures? After all, if grandpa has his 90th birthday and no one takes good pictures and posts them online, it technically never happened.

Also, to see the most epic take on disposable cameras ever, it is essential that you watch this clip from The Office.

2.

Cheap Digital Camera

cheap

Three words that you must burn into your memory before you even consider this option: Don't. Even. Bother. Believe us; you will suffer eternal torment for purchasing a cheap digital camera, and the money you saved won't even come close to paying your therapy bills.

Why? Because having a cheap digital camera is like having a vodka bottle full of water, or an empty donut box without a viewing window. You're selling a dream, and sooner or later that dream will turn into a nightmare. You'll spend endless minutes trying to set up the perfect shot, after which someone will move or the light will change or the battery will run out and have to be replaced, and the shot will be ruined. You'll go to all the work of capturing priceless moments for nothing. People will be devastated that your pictures are worthless, and they didn't take any because they thought you were 'the camera guy.' Way to go. You ruined everything.

3.

Decent Digital Camera

decent

We won't lie; finding the sweet spot at the intersection of desired features and preferred price when buying a digital camera isn't easy. However, it's totally worth it. A good digital camera will last you for years, produce great pictures with a minimal learning curve, and be easy enough that your grandpa can figure out how to use it. Every shot won't be perfect, but that's why we went digital in the first place - so we could take a hundred pictures, and only save the best ten.

We repeat, THAT'S WHY WE WENT DIGITAL. Please, for the love of God, edit your albums before you make us look at them.

4.

Digital SLR

slr

Decent digital cameras have become so powerful that it's not necessary to pay the extra grand for a digital SLR, and neither is it worth it to lug the thing around unless you're a professional. Just so you know, taking three hundred pictures of your sister's new baby doesn't make you a professional. And no, we don't need to see them to make that pronouncement.

Think of it this way. Say you went to your favorite restaurant, ordered your favorite dish, and splurged on the best wine and dessert you could afford. You'd have a great time, right? Now say that you went to the most expensive restaurant in town, where you couldn't even recognize half the things you were eating, you spent an outrageous sum of money, and all you had to show for it was being able to tell your friends you went there. We'll take the favorite restaurant any day, and let the schmucks shell out for foie-de-laddie-gras.

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