Subscribe to our newsletter
When it comes to the world of professional sports, the home organization realizes that fans come to the games to be entertained pretty much nonstop, especially these days when it seems like basically every has at least a little ADHD. For some of the less successful sports, they also realize they need to find ways to put asses in the seats. That’s why so many teams will run all of those strange and occasionally funny contests and promotions both to get you there and to keep you entertained when the action on the field is at a lull. And when it comes to entertaining, funny, and often downright bizarre fan promotions, no one beats the creative (insane?) minds running so many minor league baseball teams.
While most promotions are run to get asses in the seats, in 2002 the minor league club Charleston RiverDogs decided to go the other way. Instead of trying to pack the house for their game one night, they padlocked the doors in an effort to keep the fans out. These were fans that paid for tickets, or were trying to pay for tickets, by the way. So why would anyone possibly want to lock fans out of rooting on their home town team?
Because for whatever reason, team officials decided it would be fun to have an official attendance of “0.” So the fans were kept out until the bottom of the fifth, when the game became official and the attendance would officially show that no one was there. See, by having an official attendance of zero, the RiverDogs assured themselves a place in history, both as having the lowest single game attendance of all-time, and having some of the craziest executives in minor league baseball history.
Not to be outdone by those pesky RiverDogs, another minor league baseball team, the Altoona Curve, have a recurring promotion that, rather than keeping the fans out, just aims to give them the least pleasant experience possible. From giveaways that include bubble wrap to pictures of gall bladders, from the concession stands selling Spam and cheese sandwiches, to the video board playing clips of David Hasselhoff movies, Awful Night typically lives up to its name.
Of course the Curve don’t want the players to feel left out, so whenever they come up to bat they put up stats displaying just how badly they suck. Considering this is Double A level baseball, a lot of them suck pretty bad, too, which probably means that Awful Night doesn’t happen just once a year for the Altoona Curve.
Toilet Seat Night
And speaking of crappiness on and off the field, the Hudson Valley Renegades took the idea quite literally when they introduced Toilet Seat Night, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. 3,000 fans received stadium seat cushions in the shape of toilet seats, both to keep them comfortable during games and in all likelihood confuse them when they’re drunk in the bottom of the seventh, causing them to drop a deuce right there on that fake toilet seat. Hey, what can I say? After a few brews, you find yourself sitting on a toilet seat, and it’s easy to get a little mixed up.
The good news is that the previous season, the Renegades also had a toilet plunger giveaway, which probably helped with any clean up.
A Monkey Can Do That! Night
When it comes to outrageous and off the wall minor league baseball promotions, no one tops the St. Paul Saints. Of course, the team is partially owned by Bill Murray so that goes a long way toward explaining why their promotions are so damn funny. Anyway, for one game in 2008 the Saints brought in a real, live monkey to do some of the jobs of several people affiliated with the club. This included raking the infield and taking tickets among other small tasks here and there around the stadium. And here I thought the only human job a monkey could actually perform was that of a Wal-Mart greeter.
Look, a monkey doing human tasks is always funny. Put a monkey in a little hat and have it rip up tickets? Priceless! At the same time, you can’t help but wonder what the people who do those jobs every day thought when it was announced management would be mocking them by having a simian do their jobs.
7 Weird Ways People Try to Get Drunk
People like their booze, and have for centuries upon centuries. It’s not a secret that basically as long as there have been human beings roaming the Earth, there have been human...
8 Ways Science Says Sex Is the Best Medicine
With a few odd exceptions, people love sex. Sex sells, people enjoy watching it, and more importantly, people enjoy having it. That’s because sex makes you feel good, and it...
10 Absolutely Baffling Celebrity Cameos in Music Videos
Believe it or not, music videos are actually things that still exist, despite the fact that channels like MTV would have you believe otherwise. Celebrities popping up in a music...
7 TV and Movie Side Characters That Deserve Their Own Spinoffs
One of the hardest things about writing fiction is coming up with interesting, fully developed side characters. After all, you can’t spend too much time on them because you...
8 Incredible Facts About Game of Thrones
Game of Thrones is an absolute juggernaut. There’s no denying it. Along with Walking Dead, you’d be hard pressed to find a television show that gets more online chatter that...
7 Books That Should Would Make Great TV Shows
With the return of the immensely successful and wildly popular Game of Thrones, it’s only natural to look at the bookshelf and imagine what books may have a chance to rival the...
8 Completely Off the Wall Zombie Movies
First things first, let’s not pretend that zombie movies are ever going to be exactly “normal.” After all, we’re talking about movies that center on the conceit that the...
8 Famous Movie Quotes No One Ever Gets Right
We’re living in a culture where half of what we say seems to come from television or the movies. At some points it feels like there are precious few original thoughts being...
People Are Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse in Awesomely Fun Ways
We’ve mentioned it before, but it bears repeating: people love the idea of surviving in a zombie apocalypse. The Walking Dead is the biggest show on television, and games like...