Paris Hilton and Sportswear: A Natural Combination
Fila is Italy’s largest producer of sportswear, and Paris Hilton is America’s largest producer of contempt for America. Clearly they’re a match made in marketing heaven, which is why they teamed up to produce an ad that was played in South Korea.
It’s a pretty standard clothing commercial: Paris walks around in slow motion and shows off a variety of items while looking only a little bit trampy. But why is Hilton in this ad at all? Fila sells sportswear, couldn’t they find any actual athletes? Is this part of a practical joke to make South Korea think Paris is a tennis star? That’s the only explanation we can come up with for the ugly pink tennis racket she’s wielding at the start. Then again, this is the same country that considers Starcraft a sport, so maybe athletic standards are just different there.
Pizza Hut: Now with More Perestroika
You may know Mikhail Gorbachev as that guy in the opening of the first Naked Gun movie, but he’s famous for a lot more than that. There was that whole collapse of the Soviet Union thing, for example. And he followed up on that remarkable achievement by, uh, appearing in a Pizza Hut commercial. In it, Gorbachev is enjoying a pizza with his granddaughter while some other diners talk about him. They quickly decide he’s awesome because he allowed Pizza Hut to enter Russia, and they cheer him on while he enjoys his meal. So forget all that boring newfound freedom crap; this ad makes it clear that the greatest thing Russians got from the collapse of communism was access to crustless pizza.
The saddest part of this commercial is that it was never aired in Russia because Gorbachev was so unpopular there. Look, we don’t care what your political opinions are, but when the only people who will praise them are paid actors in a pizza commercial it might be time to re-evaluate some of your stances.
Snoop Dogg is all about Safe Internet Usage
When you think about rap music, a few clichés immediately spring to mind: clubs, sex, violence and hardcore gangster Internet security. What, you think the last one is out of place? Well Snoop Dogg disagrees, because he’s teamed up with Norton to promote awareness of cybercrime in a partnership dubbed “Hack is Wack.” No, seriously.
As part of the promotion, fans of Snoop Dogg are being encouraged to create videos of themselves rapping about the dangers of identity theft and computer viruses. Whoever comes up with the best rhymes for “malware” and “valid security certificates” wins a two day trip to LA, a chance to meet Snoop Dogg and attend his concert, and a laptop that’s been equipped—uh, pardon us, pimped out—with the latest version of Norton. Damn, it doesn’t get more gangster than that.
Know some more godawful celeb shills? Justin Bieber for bowflex? John Goodman for slimfast? Post it below!