Now while milk is a relatively tame thing to find in your beer, probably the last thing you might expect to find when you look in your bottle of spirits is a snake. And I mean, an actual, full snake. However, a man in Texas who raised rattlesnakes actually decided that what people wanted was a bottle of vodka and market it as an “ancient Asian elixir.” The sad part is that people actually bought it (both his story, and the snake vodka).

Now I’m trying to figure out which part is harder to believe: the fact that people saw a snake in a bottle of vodka and thought “okay, I can get down with the preposterous idea that this is somehow an Asian elixir” or the fact that someone out there actually raises rattlesnakes. In any event, eventually this guy got arrested, but you can find snake vodka all over the internet these days. You just might want to avoid ever coming into contact with anyone who actually has a bottle.

Okay, so this might not quite fit with the rest of these entries because frankly, there’s nothing out of the ordinary about the taste or ingredients of this particular alcoholic beverage. So why does it land on a list of the weirdest alcoholic beverages? Because unlike every other drink here (or hell, every other drink on the planet), this one is aimed specifically at kids. Not teenagers, mind you, but actual children. You stay classy, Japan!

Now what I want to know is exactly how is it sold? I’d like to imagine that when you walk into a grocery store in Japan, you’ll find it right there on the shelf next to the juice boxes and Capri Sun. Frankly, I’m kind of saddened by the fact that I never got any Kid’s Wine in my lunch at school.

Now if you’ve decided you really want to market your alcohol toward millions of sweet, innocent children, and you really want to turn them into drunks by age 10, you might want to invent chocolate wine. Oh, it already exists?

Yes, yes it does. Back to the old “getting kids drunk” drawing board! Chocolate wine is considered a dessert wine because, well, chocolate. Some of these wines (and there are apparently a lot of wineries that make chocolate wine) have only chocolate flavoring, while some go all out and turn it into what basically amounts to the wine version of a stout beer by actually mixing a bunch of delicious chocolate in along with the other ingredients. Oh, and it’s really, really potent, packing about 19% alcohol into every serving.

Wait, did I call chocolate wine weird? I meant to say brilliant. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find about 10 bottles for dessert tonight.

Written by Jeff Kelly – Copyrighted © www.weirdworm.com