World of Warcraft Cheat Bots
With nearly 12 million people (that’s 12 and six 0s) playing this online game, World of Warcraft has officially become the virtual pastime of the planet. And with such popularity there inevitably comes legislation, so today, actual codified laws exist prohibiting cheating in WoW.
A way to cheat at the game is through the Glider bot, a tool that operates a player’s character for him, leveling up while the player is free to pursue other hobbies in the real world. Although, being a WoW fan to begin with it, such a person probably has no life outside of the game anyhow, making the Glider bot a deeply confusing tool indeed.
Anyway, in 2009, Judge David G. Campbell in Arizona declared that Glider is a circumvention device under the Millennium Digital Copyright Act, meaning that the use of it will not only earn you a ban on the game, but can very well end in an actual lawsuit if the game developers, Blizzard, feel like it.
Selling Microsoft Word
One of the most integral parts of Microsoft Word is its ability to read and write .XML documents, a format which allows such a file to be read and edited under different word-processing programs. Unfortunately, a Canadian software company i4i Inc. claims the rights to .XML technology and has asked a Texas Eastern District judge to issue an injunction, prohibiting the sale of MS Word. The judge said “OK”.
On August 11 2009, an injunction banning Microsoft from selling MS Word went into effect, together with a massive cash pay-off that the company had to make to i4i Inc. No surprise there. The Eastern District of Texas is famous for their iffy patent cases, almost always favoring the plaintiff. You can march in there trying to take credit for the KFC 11 herbs and spices recipe and you would probably win.
In the end, Microsoft released a mandatory patch that brought Word up to compliance with the court ruling, but any version of it that can still use .XML is as legal as hobo murder. That is “not very”.
Being Annoying on the Internet
The First Amendment is a beautiful thing. So beautiful in fact that any healthy young man would want to marry it and consequently father lots of little amendments. Thanks to its existence, we are free to say, write or sing whatever we damn want, and that ain’t half bad. So why would it be illegal to be annoying on the internet? Is some commie trying to infringe on your God given right to be an insufferable prick online?
Indeed so. That commie’s name is George W. Bush. In 2006 the ex-president signed into law a prohibition on posting annoying Web messages or sending annoying e-mail messages without disclosing your true identity. Now, whenever you act like a brainless twat on an internet message board without providing the people there with your identity, you are in fact committing a crime. Thank, You, God.
The beauty of this legislation, which was buried in the “Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act.” is that it foresees stiff fines and even actual jail time (up to 2 years actually) for anyone deemed “Annoying and Anonymous” on the net.
What do you know? Turns out Bush was good for something after all.
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