Suicide With A Statement… Or Not
In 2007 a party of hikers looking for their lost dog in the North Shore forest stumbled upon a peculiar site: namely another hiker trying to commit suicide by chaining himself to a tree, hoping to die from hunger. As far as embarrassing episodes go, getting caught suiciding is only slightly better than getting caught masturbating, which is precisely why most people opt for the quick way out. But not the outdoorsman of this story, no, when he was found out by the dog searching party, it had already been his 6th day in the forest.
Six days, people! It’s amazing how much the human body can endure. Truly, this is a very inspiring story about the power of the human mind, proving that if you just put your mind to it, you too can attempt a needlessly drawn out and elaborate suicide like this guy! Wait a minute… this is a horrible lesson. Please unlearn that lesson right now!
The suicidal hiker ultimately survived after being hurried to the hospital. No word if the dog was ever found.
Businessman Loses His Head
When it comes to suicide most people like to keep to the basic stuff: guns, pills, rope, a water tank with man-eating sharks etc. After all, you need time tested methods which you know will work. Taking your life is not really the time for experimentation, which is why the suicide of Tadeusz Szewczek of Eastern Poland is so surprising – because the man went down by decapitating himself. As gruesome as that might be, it’s also somewhat impressive.
The man achieved this by tying one end of a steal rope to a fence and the other to his neck, after which he sped off in his car, guaranteeing he will never wear a hat again. The victim’s mother claimed that it must have been his failing marriage which caused the man to lose his head like this. In unrelated news, Weird Worm would like to officially apologize for that awful pun we made just now. Sorry.
Man Wants To Go Out Swinging
You know, other than writing a bestselling novel or bedding Susan Boyle, there really isn’t much that will guarantee a typical person a place in the annals of history. Well, maybe a spectacularly badass suicide could also do the trick, if you are seriously out options. In January 2010 a Boston man was out of options. Wanting to punch out his ticket permanently, he decided the best course of action would be to attack Police officers with a samurai sword.
The unnamed man reportedly caused a lot of mayhem on Boston streets by charging at cops with his sword constantly yelling “Kill me”, which resulted in, and we’re quoting here “frightening swordplay.” But only after the man survived a 3-story fall through a glass window. Seriously, this guy really wanted to die but the universe just did not let him, probably because it was so impressed with his giant balls.
- - Angelina Jolie Wants To Feel Like A Movie Star: http://cache.kotaku.com/images/2006/05/hitman_front.jpg
- - . Depressed Man Does Not Want To Be A Bother: http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m4/jul2009/6/9/promethean-casket-pic-rex-121919246.jpg
- - UK Boy Watches Way Too Many Movies: http://filmkids.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/abond1.jpg
- - Suicide With A Statement… Or Not: http://static.open.salon.com/files/chained_to_tree1248844422.jpg
- - Businessman Loses His Head: http://www.bbc.co.uk/northernireland/autumn/halloween/images/2005/headless_man.jpg
- - Man Wants To Go Out Swinging : http://www.sword-buyers-guide.com/images/Masahiro-Shadow-4.jpg