6 Types of StarCraft II Players

  • December 03, 2010
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  • Entertainment
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The New Player


Awww, look, he's pressing random keys! How cute!

We're not going to lie to you. StarCraft II is not an easy game, and it's not a good game for the average button-mashing gaming cretin. It takes intelligence, strategy, good multi-tasking skills, creativity, research, and patience to make a good player.

So it's understandable that a new player without experience wouldn't be as good at the game as, say, someone who has a thousand games under his belt. This is why StarCraft II has implemented the highly effective League system for matching random players, which teams players of similar levels together so that every person usually gets a challenging game in which they aren't stomping on those weaker than themselves.

Sadly, some players never elevate above the level of new player. Just because someone has played a huge number of games doesn't mean that he's actually learned anything from them.

The new player is not to be confused with newbie, noob, or nub, which are all derogatory terms aimed at players who might have plenty of experience, but simply don't live up to their teammates' (wildly inflated) expectations.


The Champion


They're so hardcore, they get jackets and groupies and everything!

So you've played a ton of games, and you think you're okay, but you wonder why you're still stuck in the lower leagues. Well it's probably because there are people out there who are like this.

Yeah, and apparently this guy isn't even one of the best of the best. People actually train for hours and hours every day, sometimes having to lay their computers on the floor so they can rest and play at the same time. Hardcore, thy name is StarCraft champion.

Now, none of the people we polled for this article are actually StarCraft II greats, so we guess that all of the rest of the types are equally represented at the top levels. However, we imagine that when every nanosecond counts, people aren't spending a whole lot of time referring to the amount of questionable intercourse their opponents and/or allies have engaged in.


The Girl


Just realize that when you belittle your ally's anatomy, she might be the recipient.

It's no longer a secret that people who play videogames are sometimes (gasp!) girls. In fact, because of the multi-tasking aspect, StarCraft II is a game that is well-suited towards the female gender.

Now, this highly informative article points out why many girls who play StarCraft II don't want to admit that they are girls. Of course, when your ally lags out in the first 30 seconds and you still manage to crush the other players in 2v2, you do get a bit of an urge to rub it in. And when you're getting a particularly offensive stream of completely unfounded, impotent gamer-rage directed towards you, you sometimes wonder if it would help to play the "I'm a girl" pity card.

For the most part, however, girls just don't want to call themselves out. So they tend to keep their female status under wraps. Although there's nothing to say a girl can't also be a commander or a silent flip-out - or even a champion.

Emma Larkins is a freelance writer. To learn more about her work, follow her on Twitter or check out her blog. Written by Emma Larkins – Copyrighted © www.weirdworm.com Image Sources

Image sources:

  • - The Chill One: http://10minuteramble.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/lebowski-dude.jpg
  • - The Commander: http://www.defunctgames.com/pic/feud101e.jpg
  • - The Silent Flip Out: http://images.quizilla.com/M/MO/MOR/morondude/1154724275_silentbob.jpg
  • - The New Player: http://www.digitaljournal.com/img/1/8/1/6/4/9/i/6/5/6/o/Etrade_Baby.jpg
  • - The Champion: http://images2.ggl.com/images/jaedong.jpg
  • - The Girl: http://allfivehorizons.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/felicia.jpg