6 Types of StarCraft II Players

Posted on December 03, 2010
Views: 10,591

Subscribe to our newsletter

Advertisements

There are two types of people on this planet (and off of it, we suppose, if we include spacefarers in this statement): those who play StarCraft II online, and those who are sadly misinformed about all things cool. We feel bad for them, but we understand that not everyone can be as awesome as people who play The Game. Not everyone is good at multitasking, sending their forces off to do battle while rapidly developing an ever-changing, overarching, game-winning strategy, building units, and calling your opponent a noob. That's just the way the world works.

If you've played even a little bit of StarCraft II online with random teams, then you know that all players are not created equal. Here is a little rundown for the uninitiated, and an entertaining and enlightening refresher for those of you who aren't completely in the dark.

1.

The Chill One

one

Luckily, a good proportion of people playing StarCraft II online fall into this category (or at least pretend to, in order to not completely alienate every one of their allies).

There's not much to be said about the chill one. He'll say hello to you at the start of the game, might discuss strategy a bit now and then, and whether your team wins or loses, he'll have a good time. He might even message you afterwards if you had a particularly epic win.

In fact, the main distinguishing aspect of this type is that he will not, at any point, flip out at you. Because people, no matter how much you play, no matter how much of your self worth is tied up in the little pixels moving around on your monitor, you need to realize that it's just a game.

2.

The Commander

commander

Every once in a while, you'll end up with a player who thinks that he is God's gift to the game of StarCraft II. This is all well and good if he's one of the top 100 players of all time, but more likely than not you'll find this type of player right on the border of the Silver and Bronze leagues.

Right from the beginning, he'll have a strategy in mind, and he won't flinch a bit at telling you what it is, and telling you about your assigned part in the strategy. He's like a director who has just taken control of a play, except it's not actually a play, it's doubles tennis, and he's telling you where to stand, when to hit, and when to back off and let him take over.

That's right; the pinnacle of the Commander type is the guy who actually DEMANDS you hand control of your units over to him, because you obviously suck so very badly. In doing so, he completely ignores the fact that you can't be that much worse than him, or else you wouldn't have been matched together in the first place. Why he doesn't just play 1v1 or Free For All, no one will ever know.

3.

The Silent Flip Out

out

This type of player may or may not be friendly to you in the very beginning, but definitely won't hold any sort of running conversation with you. He's like the opposite of the commander; he won't give you any sort of suggestion or direction, and won't tell you what he plans on doing.

Which makes it all the more overwhelming when, as the tides turn and your team starts to lose, a veritable stream of vitriolic filth will burst forth from his keys. He'll call you every name in the book to your face, and even chat with your opponents about how much you suck, and about how much better he'd do if he didn't have you on his team, etc. He'll completely fail to remember the two hundred marines he sent straight towards a line of sieged enemy tanks, or the banshees he forgot to cloak. There's not much you can do at this point, except quit and let him have his little pity-party. And take pleasure in the fact that he'll probably never know true trust or love.

Advertisements
Random
Page 1 of 4
Loading...

Latest Articles

17 Rarely Seen Pictures of Celebrities - History in Pictures

17 Rarely Seen Pictures of Celebrities - History in Pictures

It’s really difficult not to fall into a trap of using cliché phrases like ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’ and similar while watching these old photographs below. Just...

16 Bizarre Film Choices by Well Respected Actors

16 Bizarre Film Choices by Well Respected Actors

Everyone makes mistakes both in their everyday lives and in their careers. It shouldn’t come as any surprise that sometimes the people making those mistakes are professional...

16 Small but Terrifying Creatures

16 Small but Terrifying Creatures

Here are some small, yet horrifying little monsters prowling around out in Mother Nature’s backyard. Mother Nature is a deadly, terrifying force that we should all be deathly...

17 of the Most Horrifying Torture Devices Ever Conceived

17 of the Most Horrifying Torture Devices Ever Conceived

Torture isn’t particularly fun to think about, so we can only imagine how horrific it must be to actually have it done to you. Fortunately we as a society have pretty much done...

18 Bizarre Phobias People Actually Have

18 Bizarre Phobias People Actually Have

It’s natural to be scared of things. After all, it’d be a little ludicrous to never get frightened, whether your fears revolve around sharks, snakes, spiders, death, or, most...

18 of the Most Absurdly Expensive Toys in the World

18 of the Most Absurdly Expensive Toys in the World

Everyone loves toys. It’s okay, you can admit it, whenever you find yourself in a department store you at least wander past the toy section and sneak a look at the latest action...

20 Awesome Facts About Star Wars

20 Awesome Facts About Star Wars

People are getting excited about the new Star Wars movie that’s due to come out next year, and rightfully so. Even with the missteps that were the prequels, it remains one of the...

20 Infamous Sex Scandals of Modern History

20 Infamous Sex Scandals of Modern History

Everyone loves a good old fashioned scandal. Add in a little bit of sex just to spice things up, and it’s ratings heaven for journalists, and can also help boost the public...

20 of the Creepiest Places on Earth

20 of the Creepiest Places on Earth

Places can be creepy for a lot of reasons, whether it’s a terrifying history, ominous architecture, or the eerie sense of unease that comes from simply having been abandoned. Yet...

20 Weird Things You Can Major in at College

20 Weird Things You Can Major in at College

College is an interesting time in a person’s life. It’s where a lot of people really discover themselves, and prepare for the future while trying to pin down exactly what they...