The Left Breast Is Usually a Bit Bigger
The human body is far from symmetrical but those who get as close to symmetry as possible are what we consider “beautiful” and what most of you consider “way out of [your] league.” That principle extends even to breasts. For unexplained reasons, statistically the left breast of a developed human female (as opposed to a robot) is slightly bigger than the right. Seeing as the reasons for why that is the case are so far unclear we feel it’s our duty to come up with an explanation for it on the spot, without thinking. Here it is: taking prayer out of schools. Well what did you expect for an answer without even a smidgen of sentient thought behind it?
There Are Millions of Women in the USA with Breast Implants
OK, so you know fake tits are still all the rave in America, despite more and more women actually getting their self esteem from someone other than boob crazed guys. But how many patients actually go under the blade to put more boob on their chests? Take a guess. Whatever it was, it was probably too low, because in the last 30 years around TWO MILLION women in the US got breast surgery. TWO MILLION.
Of course, it wasn’t all just for selfish yet still deeply admirable reasons. Around 18-20% of those procedures were performed on breast cancer survivors and seeing as there is no possible way in the entire fucking world to make breast cancer funny, let’s just move on. Still, that leaves us with 1.6 million Americans who felt their quality of life would greatly improve if they stuck a baggy full of liquid into their chests. We’re talking about approximately 1.3% of the entire USA female population. That’s so significant it gives statisticians an instant erection when they enter a heavily populated office (don’t judge them, they can’t help who they are).
Millions of Women WANT to Show You Their Breasts
Imagine a topless man. No, wait! Don’t go! It was just a hypothetical! What we wanted you to acknowledge was that a topless man is not necessarily an erotic sight. You can see thousands of them at beaches, boardwalks, the gym, daycare etc. So why is it OK for men to take off their shirts in public but not for women to figuratively (and hopefully literally) shove their tits into our faces?! Some of the gals around the world have asked themselves the same question and demanded an answer. Thus, the Top Freedom movement was born.
Top Freedom has only one goal – to allow women to go topless wherever it’s OK for the men to do the same. Let us repeat that – there is an entire organization of women who demand a right to show their breasts in public. The better news? They’re winning in some places, like certain parts of Canada and Europe where any woman is allowed to take off her shirt and just… let it all hang out. Shit, forget Red Cross, we know where we’re donating our cash from here on out.
- - Breasts Can Swell During Arousal: http://www.livesimon.com/user_images/3153971.jpg http://www.jacksonvillemag.com/blogs/media/blogs/Specktator/huge_boobs.jpg
- - There Exists a Bra Which You Wear Under Your Skin : http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/08_02/013BRAGRAPHIC_468x369.jpg http://www.debenhamsblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/wonderbra-black.jpg
- - You Can Major In Bra Studies: http://www.dailynotes.info/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/a96989_a609_13-bra-studies.jpg http://www.popsci.com/files/imagecache/photogallery_image/articles/bra.jpg
- - The Left Breast Is Usually a Bit Bigger: http://photoshopium.com/wp-content/uploads/tutor26_files/9.jpg http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_30-sk8zaaQM/S-Rfa-XqrxI/AAAAAAAADIg/a78mRuSNnvU/s1600/sizes.jpg
- - There Are Millions of Women in the USA with Breast Implants: http://robertjbrooks.com/graphic/NipTuck_main.jpg http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/32/Silicone_gel-filled_breast_implants.jpeg
- - Millions of Women WANT to Show You Their Breasts: http://media.guelphmercury.topscms.com/images/30/a9/c59ec28e4abcae4945bb86f5ebff.jpeg http://farm1.static.flickr.com/115/365156680_cdce8af3a7.jpg