Terror Toons (2002)
Let’s be honest here: cartoon characters can be downright scary. They are virtually immortal beings with morals looser than a pair of parachute pants. Can you imagine the horror that would ensue if one of the more psychotic animated atrocities ventured into the real world? “Terror Toons” asks the exact same question and provides a predictable answer: an ocean of blood and guts.
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“Terror Toons” is a story about a pair of homicidal cartoon characters Doctor Carnage and Max Assassin, created by Satan (yes, really) who come to life via a DVD forged in Hell, sent to a random suburban household. The story as expected is equal parts whacky dark humor and pants wetting slaughter as we witness the toons make their corpse filled way through a group of partying teenagers in the most over the top and hilarious fashion.
The climax is as bizarre and out there as the rest of the movie, but you will have to see it with your own eyes. It’s worth it though: it involves superpowers.
Jack Frost (1996)
“Jack Frost” is a story of a serial killer who gets dumped in some genetic material or something equally ludicrous, and fuses with the surrounding snow to become a killer snowman out for revenge and murder. Right now you probably rolled your eyes, expecting this to be another cheap horror re-make of a family film, namely “Jack Frost”, starring Michael Keaton, where the main character also gets reincarnated as a bunch of sentient snow.
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The funny thing is though, the horror “Jack Frost” came out about 2 years before the Keaton movie. So now, who ripped off whom? It might very well be possible that two different people had the exactly same vague idea about living snowmen. However, the thought of the 1998 “Jack Frost” director, Troy Miller, looking at the horror and going “Say, this would be a great premise for a family movie” is way funnier and therefore the one we are sticking with.
The later version would also feature less icicle stabbing and people strung up like Christmas trees.
Blood Freak (1972)
“Blood Freak” is… a very strange movie. It’s a sort of twisted mix of horror, afterschool anti-drug special, and monster movie parody with lots of breaking of the fourth wall and Christian propaganda. It’s hard to describe it without asking every one of you to smoke a joint and down a bottle of drain cleaner, but let’s give it a shot.
“Blood Freak” tells the story of Herschell, a Vietnam veteran who gets addicted to marijuana after some girl dares him to smoke a joint by calling him a coward. Herschell then agrees to participate in an experiment where he is asked to eat genetically modified turkey meat, because the scientists promised him an outhouse full of pot if he will do it. This naturally transforms him into a monster mutant with the head of an actual turkey, now addicted to the blood of pot smokers.
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Though the transformation does turn out to be a dream at the end, the horror never truly stops as the female heroine of the movie gives Herschell the answer to all of his problems: praying to God.
The ironic thing is, the plot of this movie was most likely conceived on drugs and happens to be a personal favorite of many pot smokers. Life is funny like that.
- - Monsturd (2003) : http://meonfilm.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/monsturd-poster.jpg
- - Attack of the Killer Refrigerator (1990) : http://www.slasherindex.com/images/videoartwork/Display/AttackOfTheKillerRefrigeratorx.jpg
- - Piñata: Survival Island (2002) : http://www.popcornpictures.co.uk/pfilms/covers/pinata.jpg
- - Terror Toons (2002) : http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000068TP7.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
- - Jack Frost (1996) : http://fearfragments.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Jack-Frost.jpg
- - Blood Freak (1972) : http://api.ning.com/files/Vw2tD7yc-WcKJjaojhdVJ11DF8gO-Uwymo99dNLuTgsjlhpVC4374etaoun6J6sNHr3*g5Kth8bDRnDgxcRBiffqvpRKAQsX/BloodFreak.jpg