Holly Sampson - Naughty Teacher
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6 Amazing Facts About Breasts

3.
Hooters Are Getting Huger

A few years ago some UK researchers turned to the world and said “We have good news and we have better news”. The good news was that someone actually gave them money to study boob sizes around the world. The better news was that their findings showed that, worldwide, breasts are getting bigger and bigger.

hooters01

Just in the UK alone, the average bra size had gone up from 34B to a way juicier 36C. As for the rest of the world, breast sizes had been continuously going up for the last 10-15 years, averaging now almost an entire cup bigger than just a decade ago. If this trend continues, someday we might actually need an M-cup bra size.

Plastic surgeries must have some part in this, but diet and lifestyles cannot be ignored. We definitely eat more and exercise less now, and all that fat has to go somewhere – the fact that it seems to be going mainly to breasts is the best evidence that God exists and that he loves us.

hooters02

2.
There Do Exist Women with Three Breasts

A big part of any boy’s life is catching the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie “Total Recall” one night after his parents went to sleep and witnessing that scene with the 3-breasted alien h00ker. For many of us that has been a defining moment of our childhoods, the start of a journey to find a girl with 3 fun-bags on her chest. Sadly, we later realized that they just don’t exist…

three breasts01

Or so we thought. Thanks to a wondrous example of life imitating art it turns out that some women can have 3 breasts. The medical condition is called “polymastia” or “supernumerary breasts” and works just like the superfluous nipple bit. Some supernumerary breasts (see, even science knows that those are “super”!) might not even make their presence known until puberty, that special time when a polymastic girl first starts to resemble a prostitute from a cheesy Sci-Fi movie.

Location wise, polymastia can manifest itself virtually anywhere on the front of the body, hopefully somewhere between the first and second b00b. So that’s one accurate prediction “Total Recall” has made. Now, where are our virtual reality machines?

three breasts02

1.
Breast Implants Can Save Your Life

The comparison of b00bies to automobile airbags is as old as breast fascination itself. Cavemen probably made that joke in their cave drawings. But it turns out it might not just be sexism on the men’s part, because in at least one documented case, a woman’s life was saved in car crash when her silicone augmented breasts acted as airbags-like cushioning devices.

implants saves life01

In 2006 a women from the Bulgarian city of Ruse was in a pretty horrific car accidents that left both cars totaled. She and the other driver survived but in her case it was thanks solely to those bigger plastic tits which took upon themselves the force of the impact, rupturing right there on the spot and leaving the women alive, though heavily deflated.

If it wasn’t for them, the woman might have hit the steering wheel full on, damaging her internal organs and maybe even banging up her heart a little. This is an obvious sign that Evolution wants our women to have bigger knockers. Maybe later down the line car companies will get rid of airbags altogether and simply offer free b00b jobs to female drivers with each purchase.

implants saves life02

Written by Cezary Jan Strusiewicz – Copyrighted © www.weirdworm.com


Comments

  • Titman

    Eh..? What is this compulsion with tit size? A-size (or max B) tits are the best.

  • Titman

    Eh..? What is this compulsion with tit size? A-size (or max B) tits are the best.

    • dinq

      aw… never had any decent sized ones on a thin girl? Big boobs are great on a great frame.

      • Guest

        If all you like are big breasts, then you are most probably gay and have mother issues.

  • Titman

    Eh..? What is this compulsion with tit size? A-size (or max B) tits are the best.

    • dinq

      aw… never had any decent sized ones on a thin girl? Big boobs are great on a great frame.

  • Lai-Lai

    I’ve never seen such a large nose on a Japanese girl before.

    A ingtone that makes breasts fill with milk would only temporarily make breasts larger (if it worked at all) & only work on women close to/durring/after pregnancy or taking hormones. The milk would also cause the sort of discomfort dairy cows feel when they aren’t milked. It makes them extremely moody & a little violent, like having your period in your chest.

  • Lai-Lai

    I’ve never seen such a large nose on a Japanese girl before.

    A ingtone that makes breasts fill with milk would only temporarily make breasts larger (if it worked at all) & only work on women close to/durring/after pregnancy or taking hormones. The milk would also cause the sort of discomfort dairy cows feel when they aren’t milked. It makes them extremely moody & a little violent, like having your period in your chest.

  • Lai-Lai

    I’ve never seen such a large nose on a Japanese girl before.

    A ingtone that makes breasts fill with milk would only temporarily make breasts larger (if it worked at all) & only work on women close to/durring/after pregnancy or taking hormones. The milk would also cause the sort of discomfort dairy cows feel when they aren’t milked. It makes them extremely moody & a little violent, like having your period in your chest.

  • likalaruku

    I’ve never seen such a large nose on a Japanese girl before.

    A ingtone that makes breasts fill with milk would only temporarily make breasts larger (if it worked at all) & only work on women close to/durring/after pregnancy or taking hormones. The milk would also cause the sort of discomfort dairy cows feel when they aren’t milked. It makes them extremely moody & a little violent, like having your period in your chest.

    Where I live, that 34DD would be concidered a C & that 32FF would be a D. No wonder British people supposedly have the largest breats…they grossly exadurate the actual size.

    If implants are punctured in the course of lifesaving, they can lead to sickness & if the implants aren’t removed, possibly a slow painful death.

  • likalaruku

    I’ve never seen such a large nose on a Japanese girl before.

    A ingtone that makes breasts fill with milk would only temporarily make breasts larger (if it worked at all) & only work on women close to/durring/after pregnancy or taking hormones. The milk would also cause the sort of discomfort dairy cows feel when they aren’t milked. It makes them extremely moody & a little violent, like having your period in your chest.

    Where I live, that 34DD would be concidered a C & that 32FF would be a D. No wonder British people supposedly have the largest breats…they grossly exadurate the actual size.

    If implants are punctured in the course of lifesaving, they can lead to sickness & if the implants aren’t removed, possibly a slow painful death.

  • likalaruku

    I’ve never seen such a large nose on a Japanese girl before.

    A ingtone that makes breasts fill with milk would only temporarily make breasts larger (if it worked at all) & only work on women close to/durring/after pregnancy or taking hormones. The milk would also cause the sort of discomfort dairy cows feel when they aren’t milked. It makes them extremely moody & a little violent, like having your period in your chest.

    Where I live, that 34DD would be concidered a C & that 32FF would be a D. No wonder British people supposedly have the largest breats…they grossly exadurate the actual size.

    If implants are punctured in the course of lifesaving, they can lead to sickness & if the implants aren’t removed, possibly a slow painful death.

  • john

    titman you are a freaking disgrace to your handle more like deprived

  • http://wierdworm john

    titman you are a freaking disgrace to your handle more like deprived

  • Bankie

    I love boobs.

    They make everything more beautiful. Gorgeous women, ugly women, snotty women, stupid women, rainy days… they even make food taste better and music sound better. I could listen to America play that Been Through A Desert heroin song or watch a 30 Seconds To Mars video marathon on REPEAT for as long as I had huge boobs in my hands.

    Boobs are beautiful.

    Thank you, God. o/

    • Penny

      Well then I hope God blesses you with breasts on your forehead in your next birth as a man.. Won’t that just be so wonderful…. x’D

      • Pound

        How about god blesses you with a can of shutthefuckup whilst you’re in the kitchen?

        Also, your personality has ruined your assumed lovely funbags, no kids for YOU.

        • cat

          AGREED!

        • cat

          AGREED!

    • Anonymous

      Please guys, Bankie is only being honest. Am a female and its good to know these things so we can use them where applicable. Knowledge is power.

  • Bankie

    I love boobs.

    They make everything more beautiful. Gorgeous women, ugly women, snotty women, stupid women, rainy days… they even make food taste better and music sound better. I could listen to America play that Been Through A Desert heroin song or watch a 30 Seconds To Mars video marathon on REPEAT for as long as I had huge boobs in my hands.

    Boobs are beautiful.

    Thank you, God. \o/

  • titmanisgay

    dude ur fuckin gay

  • yousuckmyballs

    you are an idiot

  • Jhando

    He is just being honest mate!!
    That's a fact, all men are obsessed with breasts.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ricky-James-Moore-II/1685116178 Ricky James Moore II

       I am indifferent to breasts. Faces and good skin are much more important.

  • Guest

    You are one sad little man.

  • Me-Mo

    Not really,I'm an Ass man myself.I prefer a lady with a nice round booty and small A or B cup breasts.Besides,”anything more than a mouthfull,is a waste”. :)

  • booby!

    i liked the idea of the big boobs…..!!!

  • Jadoo

    That's ur take man. And hardly befitting a male ! Show me a male who dosen't like boobs. Forget the sexy part, boobs are the ones you grew up on stupid, how can u not like them ?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ricky-James-Moore-II/1685116178 Ricky James Moore II

       You’re an illiterate cum-dumpster.

  • Amorous

    Jadoo, not everyone has to have your opinion to be “a male”.

    Me-mo and Titman, you will make some small chested females very happy, nothing hurts more than to always get the impressions big boobs are everything.

    John, just ugh.

    • Brij

      what is this fuck?

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  • Watersisland

    Ha! Liked #4…..IF the tit don't fit….You MUST acquit!

    No, not ALL men like big breasts. Some do. Some don't , and some just THINK they're suppose to be attracted to large breasts. Personally, I think smaller perkier breasts are the sexiest. NOT that I'd turn away from nice large pointers mind you, but the larger they are, the more prone they are to loosing their shape and sagging as women age—sometimes not even all that old. Plus….the nipples seem to have a much greater propensity toward stretching out so much that they're not even all that prominent or attractive( the breasts I mean, a woman's attractiveness really has NOTHING to do with her breast size). Add to that —large breasts often cause back problems as women get older. Now WORSE than small breasts,big breasts, whatever is—-FAKE breasts. I'd rather a woman had almost NO breasts than have fake breasts. At least a very small breast has sensual stimulating properties. I enjoy knowing that I'm providing sexual stimulation to a woman. With breast implants, much of the sensitivity is gone.

    • Penny

      Breasts are not there to impress men but to feed infants :/
      (ironically humans take it the other way around way)

      • POLALRAJU

        IF U DONT IMPRESS UR MEN WITH THEM …HOW CAN U FEED INFANTS????

      • Anonymous

        Penny -

        You’re half right. In fact, in the evolutionary scheme of things, anthropologists believe that the female human chest evolved to resemble the female rear. And that this became important when homo erectus started to stay upright for long periods of time. The idea was that the male would subconciously be as stimulated by the female from the front, as he’d always been from the back.

        That’s also about the time faces became important.

      • Pooki

        jus a blatant lie… women want men to admire their breasts….almost every women

      • Bill

        Penny, Your obviously NOT happy with yours ? How about telling US why instead of TRYING to B.S. us with Baby’s food bags ONLY.

      • dingo

        feminists should fuck off. Breasts are there for my enjoyment

    • Penny

      Breasts are not there to impress men but to feed infants :/
      (ironically humans take it the other way around way)

    • AWspicious

      Yeah! What he said! I adore small, cute breasts. Sadly,some girls with small breasts are very self-conscious of them and wished they had larger. I often find myself trying to convince them otherwise (That didn’t sound right, did it?).
      Anyway, here’s to small breasts. Cheers!

  • Cross_me_heart

    If you don't like big tits your an arse bandit.

  • Noone

    “In 2008 the Vietnamese government was seriously considering banning (…)”, this is totally not true.

  • venu

    be simple!!!!! what a description!!!!hmmmmmmmmmmm may be a gud stuff for book lovers

  • Spike Dawg

    I wonder if the same guy who banned small breasts also did the “checking.”

  • http://www.fredbreeding.com Ferdinan

    i like big breast,,, woowww,, siiiippp,,,, nicee,, hehehhehehehehe

  • Meikillu9

    lol did you guys notice his hair piece was on crooked? and i just like tits as long as they dont sag, im all good with any size

    • Aiz_91

      dude i think he got “some” while he was doing his research x)

  • http://twitter.com/sponkit_celeb mishedew

    interesting

  • iiZu

    I like how everyone's saying that there isn't one man out there that doesn't like breasts.
    What a bunch of homophobes you are.
    Apparently gays aren't considered men now.
    Must've missed that memo.

    Personally, bigger isn't always the better.

    My girlie's got a bit of a small set herself, and I adore it.
    She looks sexy either way.

    If only you men knew the troubles of bigger breats though.

    • guest

      everyone knows gay guys love boobs, you can love boobs without wanting to getting involved sexually with someone

  • ^^

    too long.
    didn't read.
    most probably gay.

  • Jamesyap

    so they still pushed through the bill?? good.

  • Disqus

    @Jamesyap(AND his above UNnamed reply to Watersisland with the same IP address)— James is …..Attention Deficit, Can't read, and most probably a closet homo

  • zilch amino

    those pictures are such bullshit and i'd know because I'M A GIRL.
    size g? please. the biggest size was dd at most. This theory is incorrect.
    The girls posing all looked like actors. Don't be fooled and get your brains out of your dicks!

  • Sprmcandy

    “Milk Dud's” are worth their weight in 24k gold !

  • Serenityred

    A 34B is technically the same thing as a 36C. They're called “sister sizes.” For example, 32A:34B:36C:38D. A woman who wears a 34B can wear a 36C and have it be the same fitting bra.

    It's all about the ratio.

    *I hope that made sense. It's hard to explain unless you have the physical bras to look at and compare

    • No

      You’re an idiot. Follow your own advice, then realize why you are wrong.
      The number is the band size, the letter is the cup size.
      38D is HUGE compared to 32A.

    • black-widow

      actually no that is not the same thing. the A B C D are how big your boobs are the 32 34 36 is how big around. if the cup is used to replace some of the length of the bra then you have not been properly fitted

    • ha

      You have it backwards. Larger band, smaller cup or smaller band w/larger cup. One of the girls at VS told me to get 36Cs because they didn’t have any 34Ds. It works for some bras, but try different styles or brands and you could find yourself with boobs being squished out of the sides and a band that doesn’t fit right unless the last set of hooks is used. Support should come from the band anyway, not the straps. It would be better to go for a snugger fit and larger cup.

    • Guest

      No, sisters sizes are more like

      36A = 32B
      36B = 32C
      36C = 32D

      It’s just that aside from 32A and 32B, most bra companies doesn’t make the 32 size, so you use the previous cup instead. But that’s it.

      And so. It’s that it’s compensed, but not as much as much. I used to be a 32A in my teens, and now with a 34B, well, there is a lot of difference. So no, I couldn’t use my old bras. And my little boobs would get lost in a 38D.

      Sorry for breaking your bubble.

    • Guest

      No, sisters sizes are more like

      36A = 32B
      36B = 32C
      36C = 32D

      It’s just that aside from 32A and 32B, most bra companies doesn’t make the 32 size, so you use the previous cup instead. But that’s it.

      And so. It’s that it’s compensed, but not as much as much. I used to be a 32A in my teens, and now with a 34B, well, there is a lot of difference. So no, I couldn’t use my old bras. And my little boobs would get lost in a 38D.

      Sorry for breaking your bubble.

    • Daisyksmith

      whoa thats not right at all. i am a 38D and i know perfectly well what a 32A looks like, there is no way i would ever be able to squeeze myself into one!

      • Xuzhuwen520

        God…

    • laura

      uhm its the other way round the bigger the number the bigger the cup is eg 34c – 30 e

    • AWspicious

      So… Are you a natural redhead? :-)

    • TS

      C cups and B cups are definitely not the same!
      That’s like saying a size 11 foot is the same size on a 6 foot tall person as a size 8 foot is on a 5 foot person. Ridiculous!
      I wear a 36 DD. I’m not the same size as a 34 C (or CC).

      • TS

        One more thing:
        The CUP size (letter) is the amount of handful. (There’s no better way to describe that)
        The NUMBER size is the measurement around the body at the nipple line.
        If you wear a cup size larger, you don’t fill out the bra.
        If you wear a cup size smaller, you hang out everywhere.

  • Serenityred

    It depends on the store making the bras. At Victoria's secret I am an 34D, at Frederick's of Hollywood, I'm a 34F. Other countries have different measurements as well.

    Do your research before getting pissed off and spouting nonsense.

    Also, they are WOMEN posing, not girls.

  • Watersisland

    OH wow, now I'm really confused. Ohhhh! I know, I know…..Show us your breasts with a 34B bra on, THEN, show us your breasts with a 36C bra on. THE-E-ENNNN! YEAH, Just show us your breasts…..with NOTHING ON!

    Uhm….you are a female I hope. Otherwise….disreguard-LOL!

    • Anonymous

      I like your sense of humour and truthfulness. You must really love em….lol

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    aku suka susu yang gedhe….

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  • Hungntia

    What do you know about Vietnamese ladies asshole……

  • Rishmaroshal

    boobs can give pleasure and fuck you as well

  • Melker Nästan Pirat

    Boobs suck, i like guys..

  • http://disqus.com Ty

    This is horrible, I want breasts to remain reasonably small, personally.

  • Theluckdog

    I wish gals didn’t obsess with the size of their breasts as much. That’s NOT a big factor in the way MOST of us men see you. Sure, we like to look at nice …. er, ALL boobs, but they don’t have to be big to be nice. I personally prefer smaller boobs on a gal. But like I said, the size isn’t NEAR as important as most think. Even though I prefer them smaller, that doesn’t mean I negatively judge a woman for having huge ones. And small NATURAL ones are MUCH nicer than implanted big ones …. MUCH more. There’s more important factors that determine beauty in a woman, & most of them aren’t even physical.

    That said, to keep with the topic of the article, I can say by personal experience that I have determined a strange occurence that breasts somehow affect. I’ve been studying this for several months & have proven it true. My position of being a Junior-year student in a college with a VERY large number of students, & almost 65% of those being girls, gave me plenty of content to turn this theory, or hypothesis, into scientific truth. I’ll be publishing a synopsis about these studies during my Senior year, & will most likely continue to study the situation (situations?) during my Grad years. I call it, “Boobs In College: A study of the integration and effects of titties into and upon the level of academic achievements displayed by male students attending facilities of higher education.”

    I’d rather not get too deeply into my findings & the processes I used, since I intend to publish them later. But basically, I carefully evaluated my own test scores taken after I purposely locked myself alone in my apartment each night for week-long periods, & sat at the front of the room during the tests, so I could see nobody. Then I repeated the process, but spent week-long periods of hanging out in the local strip clubs until 1 a.m. each morning, and arranged with female college friends to wear either extremely tight T-shirts or very low-cut blouses each test day, and to also surround me in the classroom, and to constantly perform assorted maneuvers which literally forced me to look at their …. uhh …. gifts.

    After comparing these 2 sets of test scores, I was easily able to formulate the fact that looking at breasts several hours per day makes a man dumber than a box of poop. Interesting, isn’t it?

    • Tess

      I wonder what spiritual/intellectual factors determine beauty in a woman ?

  • Garbarjar

    Yes. You’re absolutely right. Cavemen did in fact, make jokes involving technologies that wouldn’t be invented for thousands of years. Undoubtedly.

  • Ptorq

    In polymastia, the supernumerary breasts tend to show up along what’s called the “milk line”, two imaginary curves that start up around the shoulders, travel down through the normal location of the breasts, and then go more or less straight down the torso and curve inward near the navel. (Actually, the picture of the statue accompanying the article is pretty accurate.) A centrally located one, as in Total Recall, would be even more unusual than they are generally.

  • Football

    Nothing turns my stomach quicker than a pair of warm breasts in the middle of my back.

  • Pepper

    Wow. These are what pass as facts now days?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Madhav-Singh/1206222603 Madhav Singh

    without boobs no boy want to like the girl. a big boobs enhance the beauty of girl

    • Anonymous

      im 36 B and i want to have bigger breasts!

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  • honey v

    i have big boobs and i don’t like them! i’m ashamed to wear tight t-shirts and stuff like that.. and it’s stupid because every time i go out people are staring at me ..guys are obsessed with me and girls are envy! i wish i hadn’t big boobs..for real!

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  • Johngdickb

    Most likely reason young women for the past 50 years are growing larger boobs might be down to the taking of birth control pills which mimicks being pregnant hence filling up with milk for a non existant child.

  • Bill

    Bottom Line.
    BIG Breasts are GREAT to look at ( with clothes ON )
    Smaller Breasts are AWESOME to look at ( Naked )

  • Alfj

    Seriously, could the writer of this “article” be any more pathetic and immature? Yeah, big boobs make the world a better place for retards like you. If you were a girl you would understand why making your boobs bigger by filling them with milk is not exactly an ideal solution.

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  • Anonymous

    I definitely prefer big boobs, but I’m not really very picky about that, nor really very picky about appearance in general. I’ve heard enough about beautiful yet sinister girls who use their looks to get away with doing evil to distrust attractive women in general, actually, so in some cases a more plain-looking girl might be PREFERABLE.

  • Anonymous

    Unfortunately, some girls small breasts are very self-conscious about them and wished they were older. I often find myself trying to make them otherwise

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  • Anonymous

    If you were a girl who would understand why you bigger boobs filled with milk is not exactly an ideal solution.
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  • Beauprinz

    bigger the boobies, quenches better the lust of hornier dicks..any nerd looks gorgeously fucksome with them, this is one simple fact.. :D :D
    well it doesn’t mean they are sagging big size ones.. :D

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  • anonymous

    ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!
    they can hear and see what your visually thinking
    this is the dead truth

    the reason alot of asians have completely expressionless faces, only associate with asians and dont associate with non asians very much is to avoid accidentally revealing that they can read read minds, if all over a billion asians were to show facial expressions all the time just as much as non asians, associate with non asians much more, and be much more friendly and talkative, then alot of them might accidentally reveal that they can read minds by accidentally showing a facial expression or dirty look when someone thinks, or visually pictures something in their mind they dont like or find astonishing or funny, and if they were all to associate with non asians alot more there would be alot more people around for them to accidentally show facial expressions when those other people think things they dont like, so they only associate with asians so there wont be anyone around for them to see that and have any accidents happen in the first place

    think about it, its not normal how alot of them act, and the entire way they act is all to hide their mind reading abilities, it makes perfect sense to do all of that to hide that they can read minds, because all of that is the perfect way to do it!
    every single asian on the planet is hiding their mind reading abilities, they value hiding their mind reading abilities more then their own lives!
    thats why nobody knows about it!

    try thinking, best yet visually picturing in your mind something something absolutely crazy as you possibly can when you are around asians, and try looking for asians who give people particular looks, especially dirty looks for what appears to be for completely no reason, that is them giving people looks when they hear and visually see someone thinking something they dont like, find funny or astonishing
    it still happens despite a large number of them having completely expressionless faces all the time, it would just happen alot more if none of them had completely expressionless faces all the time, its not uncommon!

    i know this sounds crazy, impossible, and completely unbelievable, BUT IT ISNT CRAZY WHEN ITS TRUE

    you have to spread the message!!!
    the world has to know about this!!!!

  • Anonymous

    The idea was that a man would subconciously to stimulate a woman in front, as was always behind.
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  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UERC6ZU4ZYB2PTQLCMNU2WKSFQ MARY

    Actually looking like a child or having child-like features (i.e. small flat breasts) will more likely keep you out of prison than anything else. It’s a fact that adults with a baby face will spawn out the maternal instinct of other adults to protect them, thus they’re less likely to be placed in prison, which is a dangerous place.  My baby face has saved me numerous of times from being fired or getting into serious of trouble… not my breasts. :P

    Just another bs excuse for men to control women and their bodies. Hopefully one day men will be placed under the same scrutiny and be trashed down on the bases of their body parts and make it all public, so they can feel like sh!t or sh!ter than women.

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