Subscribe to our newsletter
It's hotter than Hades outside. You’re keenly aware that if you don't get something cold to eat right now, your eyeballs are going to burst into flames. Barring that, you're going to have to hop in an oven just to cool off.
But why join the ordinary rabble vying for vaguely phallic treats from the creepy white van parked outside of the playground? Instead, be one of the cool kids (and avoid possible abduction) by enjoying an icy, out-of-the-ordinary cool-off this summer.
And by out-of-the-ordinary, we mean so weird that you'll want to scrub your tongue (and possibly your brain) after ingesting these hot weather abominations.
The Pickle Sickle
What it is:
Okay, it's easy to realize why someone just had to go ahead and create this one. The name rolls off the tongue just as easily as the pickle juice rolls onto it (at least, I'm sure that's how it was marketed to the potential investors).
The Pickle Sickle is not, as you'd expect from the picture in the logo, a frozen pickle on a stick; it's actually a frozen packet of pickle juice.
Why it's the perfect summer treat:
The generally accepted, over-sugared, ADD-inducing pantheon of summer treats needs to get a makeover. Chances are, if you're sitting there, melting in the hot sun, you're going to need some electrolytes in addition to your ice water. This pickle pop is the perfect combination of salty and cold.
Probably the same creepy kids who pick their scabs and eat French fries with mayo. Why you might want to scrub your tongue afterwards:
There's a reason that most cold summer treats you'll find in your regular supermarket are sour and sweet instead of sour and salty. The saltiness can actually increase your thirst for liquids, which is not good if you're already in danger of dehydration from heat. In addition, most people prefer to toss out the pickle juice after enjoying some bread n’ butter action, instead of recycling it into frozen foods. Just saying.
What it is:
For the more mature among us (or at least, the ones who've reached the hallowed age of 21), there's a cool treat that can satisfy several urges at once.
Now, you don't have to wait for the tomato-and-garlicky goodness to heat up and then cool down so you can enjoy cold pizza this summer. You've got your pizza and your beer all rolled into one! This beer is brewed with tomato and spices in the mix, so as a bonus, you get all of the flavors and none of the fat.
Why it's the perfect summer treat:
This drink amazingly wraps the whole pizza and beer thing up into one easy to swallow package, and in a (comparatively) healthier version to boot. And just think of the collective foodgasm to be had by the lactose intolerant population. Additionally, you can get drunk on pizza without having to turn the house temperature up to "swelter" by sticking a pie in the oven.
So… first rounds on me? Why you might want to scrub your tongue afterwards:
If you just want to cool down, then beer is the perfect choice (as long as you don't overindulge - it is, after all, dehydrating in large quantities). If you're hungry, you'll have a pizza. We get the feeling that mashing the two together would be like rinsing off your used pizza box with cold water just to get the last few flecks of pizza-y goodness down your gullet. Probably delicious for the first few seconds, and then it just makes you pine miserably for another slice.
Not only that, but you're going to be royally confused when you wake up the next morning tasting pizza but can't remember that you ordered any!
Garlic Ice Cream
What it is:
This delicacy hails from Gilroy, that wondrous garlic-topia located in the middle of California. It's true that they garlic everything there, but the ice cream has to be one of the odder things to come under the garlic spell.
Why it’s the perfect summer treat:
What more could you want than having the delicious taste of garlic linger on your tongue long after the ice cream has melted into a distant dream? Not only will it ward off vampires, it will also ward off any unwanted suitors who stagger by after too much Pizza Beer.
Why you might want to scrub your tongue afterwards:
Actually, you might be tempted to just cut the whole thing off. Have you ever been cutting garlic in the general vicinity of anything that you don't want to taste like garlic? The hotheaded rogue of the onion family is famous for its permeating taste and aroma. Everything within the general vicinity will soak up the garlic flavor like a sponge. That garlic flavor isn't going anywhere. It's like that with garlic ice cream; the first few bites will be intriguing and interesting, but do you really want to be sucking garlic juice off your tongue for the rest of the day?
Makeup Artist Transforms Her Face Into Her Favorite Cartoon Characters
Laura Jenkins is a London based brilliant makeup artist who brings various cartoon characters to life on her own face, or to be more precise on her mouth. This is what happens when...
5 Most Unique and Unusual Islands - #3 Is it Cute or Creepy?
For most of us islands hold a certain mystique. It could be their seclusion that entices us, or the perceived difficulty of reaching them. Others are relatively untouched and...
5 Ad Campaigns That Backfired - #5 With True Message
It's fair to say that in the digital age we're beaten over the head with advertising on a regular basis. With constant exposure to commercials, banner ads, and other spots trying...
7 Utterly Bizarre Assassination Attempts
Assassinations are a dirty part of global politics and warfare, and as you can probably guess there are tons of attempts on the lives of political leaders that you never even hear...
15 of the Scariest Urban Legends From Around the World
Everyone loves a good old fashioned urban legend. People love getting a good scare, and something about urban legends just makes it feel like these things could have actually...
15 Myths About History You Probably Believe
It turns out that a lot of what you were reading in history textbooks was wrong, and some of the things you believe are either skewed by false information passed down through the...
8 Prettiest Nations in Europe
It might be hard to tell the difference between women in Europe, but every man with a keen eye will tell you exactly why these nations have the prettiest women.
13 Things You Didn’t Know About the Lord of the Rings Movies
The Lord of the Rings will go down as one of the greatest movie trilogies in history, and this year Peter Jackson’s follow-up trilogy The Hobbit will be coming to a close as...
13 Crazy World Records You Won’t Believe People Bothered to Set
These are the people who work on breaking and re-breaking world records that no one in their right mind would ever even consider as a legitimate thing. You know, the records that...