5 Weird Facts (You Probably Didn’t Know About Conception)

  • June 03, 2010
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4.

You Can’t Get Inseminated By a Gun

gun

It took a few hours, a couple beers and a lot of horrible searches to find this picture. Worth it.

This might not blow your mind, but for a long, long time this was accepted to be true. As far back as 1874 in fact, a rumour was going strong that a lady got pregnant by way of a little hot lead. Like most myths and legends, the plausibility revolved mostly around how well the story was told.

The most popular version cited an American Civil War battle, which in contrast to most urban legends, actually happened. As the story goes, a bullet struck a young Union fighter in the sack, which he probably deemed “About as cool as the South’s lack of emancipation for all peoples!” before high fiving an ex-slave. Or maybe he screamed like a little girl, we weren’t there. Anyway, the bullet kept on going and lodged in some lady who was watching from her porch. Back then, wars were spectator sports. Exactly 278 days later, it turned out she was totally preggers, having had sperm transferred from the guy’s impromptu vasectomy to her reproductive tract by a musket ball.

gun01

As soon as my scrotum heals, we should probably look at preschools.

As utterly ridiculous as the story may seem, there are some reasons for its continuous popularity. The original lie began as a joke and was published in the American Medical Weekly (a real medical publication) by an actual doctor. Being a doctor before stuff like vaccines and antibiotics meant a lot more horsing around and banging your “house call” patients. Simpler times. Subsequent citing of the original article ballooned thanks to non-WeirdWorm readers (i.e. those who don’t understand a good joke) and the legend grew.

Aside from the improbability of such an even occurring, the dry, hot surface of the musket ball would hardly be a hospitable vector for sperm. Nor are women typically able to conceive by having semen gouged into their reproductive tract. Well... usually...

5.

You Can Get Inseminated By a Knife

...without a vagina. Seriously

There is an authenticated case of an African girl that showed a knife wound isn’t just a way to die, but also a way to create life. The young lady was born without a vagina. And for those who are unsure of what the actual medical term vagina refers to, this means the part of the female bits located just inside the opening. Therefore, she was unable to make love in the conventional sense, and had to rely on the oral variety.

kiss

According to our scientists, it looks something like this.

And this is exactly why when an ex-lover caught her doing with her new beau, things got a little stabby. Details are unclear about how the fight went down between the two rivals and the golden-gal, but all three individuals soon turned up at the hospital sporting stab wounds. Our heroine specifically took two deep ones to the abdomen. She was stitched up and went back to her normal activities, which we’ll just skim over for the sake of posterity.

Quite a while later, she experienced significant swelling in the abdominal area are returned to the hospital. There it was discovered she was pregnant, and the details of her sex life emerged. A quick caesarean section later, and she was the baffled mother of a bouncing baby boy. The kicker: not having a functional vagina did not mean the rest of her organs were out of whack. It’s believed that the stab wound pierced the stomach (where semen recently, ahem, accumulated) through to the reproductive organs.

kiss01

Ah, the miracle of life.

Chalk it up to a case of extremely unsafe sex. Written by Kevin Mack – Copyrighted © www.weirdworm.com Image Sources
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