5 Weird Facts (You Probably Didn’t Know About Conception)

Posted on June 03, 2010
Views: 473,382

Subscribe to our newsletter


Ah, the miracle of life. There’s nothing more natural and beautiful than the birth of the child. And nothing more sexy than the way that child was created.

The process of conception has often been shrouded in mystery due to poor science, religious interference, and the refusal of teachers to let dudes see the “girls only” video from Sex Ed. It’s often hard to separate the truth from the myth, even if you own the necessary genitalia to conduct experiments. Luckily, the sexologists (which is totally a real thing) here at WeirdWorm can help set the record straight. Brace yourself, this might be pretty cold.


It Is Possible to Get Pregnant on the Rag


Thanks to the Bush Administration, millions of Americans have attended classes where they learned that sex is wrong, their bodies are sinful and everybody waits till marriage before getting it on. Since at least two of those three are outright lies (hey, we’re not here to judge the sinfulness of your body) many kids might be ready to dismiss the entirety of their questionable sex ed experience. Unfortunately some of it might have a ring of truth, even the parts that don’t seem to make a whole lot of sense.

A woman’s period typically signals the end of her monthly cycle (or beginning, it’s all the same when it comes to cycles). This should be the longest point away from ovulation. Therefore, it would make sense that, if you’ve got a strong stomach, you could earn your red wings with no risk of baby spawning.


This is sadly not the case. Thanks to either a blind, absentee god or a cruel, unloving universe, women’s cycles are not tightly regulated or wholly predictable. Toss in the fact that sperm can survive for the better part of a week inside a woman, and without protection you’re looking at the possibility of a shotgun wedding, heavy flow day or not.


You’re More Likely to Have Twins When You’re Older

olsen twins

The standard reproductive cycle is pretty regular for most women. One egg is released, left unfertilized it is shed, and then things get all menstruate-y. Taking things like fertility drugs can cause multiple eggs to be released, which means there’s greater possibility of producing twins. Oddly, even without the miracles/horrors of modern science, women can increase their odds of having some double trouble. In fact, many women are unintentionally increasing their odds these days, since all it takes is a little waiting.

Women who conceive in their late twenties through to their forties are much more likely to have twins. As their moods start to become more even and predictable, their lady parts do the opposite, sometimes releasing more than one ovum each month. With the addition of male fertilizer, they could start growing twice as many babies as one might expect.

olsen twins01

And if you thought that just means starting an additional college fund, think again. Two buns in the oven can mean more cravings, more time at the doctor and probably more morning sickness too. Try to remember that for your speech for whichever kid ends up getting married first.


Women’s Bodies Throw out a Welcome Mat


While it is possible for ladies to ovulate early, late or even more than one ovum at a time, women are usually pretty stingy when it comes to the whole egg sharing thing. Whatever part of their cycle it comes on is usually the same every time. In fact, there is only about a 48 hour windows where they can actually conceive. And the end of those 48 hours aren’t even ideal, instead the sperm desperately scrambles to close like a frat boy at last call.

During the actual ovulation period, there are a number of telltale signs. All of them have varying success rates in terms of predicting the point of ovulation. They also all have varying levels of creepiness. One of the most simple is to track the body temperature. When it’s time for babymaking, women literally start getting hot, even without a preliminary screening of the Notebook.


A second, more “sciencey” method uses ovulation kits to track hormones. Reproductive hormones in women function like a Swiss watch that got left in the rain: very precise except when they aren’t. Luteinizing hormone has been found to peak just before ovulation, and so with a simple daily pee-on-a-stick routine, it can be tracked.

The third, most accurate and easily most cringe-worthy method comes from monitoring for fertile cervical mucus. This comes as a discharge from a lady’s downtown that is supposed to resemble “raw egg-white”. The volume (shudder) will peak in the days leading up to ovulation. All that’s left is to then convince a man to willingly entrust his most prized organ to something oozing goo, even after he’s probably seen the movie Alien.

Page 1 of 4

Latest Articles

15 Myths About History You Probably Believe

15 Myths About History You Probably Believe

It turns out that a lot of what you were reading in history textbooks was wrong, and some of the things you believe are either skewed by false information passed down through the...

8 Prettiest Nations in Europe

8 Prettiest Nations in Europe

It might be hard to tell the difference between women in Europe, but every man with a keen eye will tell you exactly why these nations have the prettiest women.

13 Things You Didn’t Know About the Lord of the Rings Movies

13 Things You Didn’t Know About the Lord of the Rings Movies

The Lord of the Rings will go down as one of the greatest movie trilogies in history, and this year Peter Jackson’s follow-up trilogy The Hobbit will be coming to a close as...

13 Crazy World Records You Won’t Believe People Bothered to Set

13 Crazy World Records You Won’t Believe People Bothered to Set

These are the people who work on breaking and re-breaking world records that no one in their right mind would ever even consider as a legitimate thing. You know, the records that...

13 Famous Fictional Characters You Didn’t Know Were Based on Real People

13 Famous Fictional Characters You Didn’t Know Were Based on Real...

Through all mediums of entertainment - music, movies, books, and so forth - we get attached to the truly great, fleshed out characters who just jump off the page or screen and...

14 Painfully Awkward Family Photos You Have to See to Believe

14 Painfully Awkward Family Photos You Have to See to Believe

No one likes sitting down and taking family photos. After all, it’s always such a weird feeling to have a photographer posing you just a little too close to your siblings and...

13 Incredible Pictures You Won’t Believe Were Done in Pencil

13 Incredible Pictures You Won’t Believe Were Done in Pencil

Throughout time, people have produced incredible art. It’s amazing what people can do with various mediums, from oils, to charcoal, and even, amazingly, the simple pencil. While...

12 Homes for People Who Never Want Visitors

12 Homes for People Who Never Want Visitors

Sometimes, solitude is an absolute delight. It’s okay to be social and friendly most of the time, but now and then you just want to have some time to yourself. And let’s not...

17 Rarely Seen Pictures of Celebrities - History in Pictures

17 Rarely Seen Pictures of Celebrities - History in Pictures

It’s really difficult not to fall into a trap of using cliché phrases like ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’ and similar while watching these old photographs below. Just...