5 Sports Moves That Were Essentially Thinly Veiled “Screw Yous”

  • January 19, 2011
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John McGraw cancels World Series because he was a dick

John McGraw was baseball’s biggest a*?hole in the early days of the game. As a player in the 1890's, he and his teammates on the NL Baltimore Orioles played dirty, doing anything to win, including hurting other players, cheating, and attempted murder of an umpire.


Crazy even Gary Busey could be proud of.

He was an early convert to the American League when it was formed in 1901 to oppose the NL, offering higher player salaries and beer on Sundays. He managed the Baltimore Orioles for two years before getting into a blood feud with AL president Ban Johnson. We’re not sure what it was about, but knowing McGraw, it could have been anything. McGraw jumped ship, taking the best players from the Orioles along with him back to the National League New York Giants. Johnson responded by moving the Orioles to New York, becoming the Highlanders and then the Yankees. 1903 was also a banner year because that was the year of the very first World Series between the AL and NL. It was a huge success, and fans eagerly anticipated another Series in 1904. Enter John McGraw.


I said McGraw, not McClane.

His Giants just happened to win the NL pennant that year, and he decided he was going to teach that SOB Johnson a lesson once and for all, and refused to let his team play AL champion Boston. No amount of convincing would persuade McGraw to back down, and the fans lost it, blaming the entire baseball establishment. The owners of both leagues decided that this petty arguing was going to ruin them all, so they sat down and hammered out an agreement that a year without a World Series would never happen again. And it worked.


Most of the time.


Urban Meyer will have his revenge

For a four year period from 2006-2009, the University of Florida had the best college football team in the country. Lead by excellent head coach Urban Meyer and Heisman Trophy winning quarterback Tim Tebow, Florida won 2 National Championship games, a Sugar Bowl, and the undying hatred of every college football fan north of the Florida state line.


Few men have the strange ability to have half the nation willing to go down on him, and the other half willing to shoot him in the face with a shotgun.

Nowhere was the hatred more noticeable, however, than in Georgia, where the Universities of Florida and Georgia have maintained a fierce college football rivalry that spans decades. During the 2007 meeting between the two, Georgia scored a touchdown then immediately crowded into the endzone to show up the Florida fans and caused an excessive celebration penalty. The Bulldogs would go on to crush Florida in what became known as the “Gator Stomp.” Then excretion really collided with the air circulation apparatus when it was discovered that the Georgia coach perpetuated the Stomp by instructing his team to be unsportsmanlike. Coach Meyer vowed revenge. And he would get it one year later.


Take a guess where that finger’s pointing. We’ll give you a hint. It involves VENGEANCE.

The 2008 season rolled around, and Florida and Georgia met yet again. It was a photo negative of the previous game, because this time Florida was pounding Georgia into the dirt. With a minute to play, the Gators found themselves ahead 49-10 and had possession of the football. Proper etiquette dictates that in a situation like that, the team with the ball is just to spike it and run out the clock. But Meyer could give a damn about sportsmanship, he wanted retribution. He used his final two time outs, for no other reason than to stretch out the agony of watching Georgia fans, and the beer bonging time of happy Gator fans. We’re fairly sure that if Meyer had any more weapons at his disposal, like ones of mass destruction, he would have used them against Georgia.


“Oh come on, Ref! That was a deliberate flagrant foul!”


Regardless, the message was clear. Don’t. Screw. With. Urban. Meyer. Written by Ben Adelman – Copyrighted © www.weirdworm.com Image Sources

Image sources:

  • - Walter O’Malley doesn’t get his way, so he’s not playing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Robert_Moses_with_Battery_Bridge_model.jpg http://www.historycooperative.org/journals/nyh/89.1/images/fetter_fig01b.jpg http://image.spreadshirt.com/image-server/image/composition/15306864/view/1/producttypecolor/2/type/png/width/280/height/280/duck-the-fodgers-check-out-the-back_design.png
  • - America gets screwed by a Godfather with a grudge: http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2005/12/29/munich1_wideweb__470x335.jpg http://www.freewebs.com/rockyfilms/ROCKY+DRAGO.jpg http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KMtrTAFP2CQ/TG8bH7a2qPI/AAAAAAAAAno/H7QgVmrxVG4/s1600/Doug+Snidely+Whiplash.jpg
  • - Messersmith doesn’t take insult lightly, brings down institution: http://www.pophistorydig.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/1950s-mickey-mantle-20.jpg http://www.vintagecardtraders.org/virtual/70topps_super/70topps_super-25.jpg
  • - John McGraw cancels World Series because he was a dick: http://matrix.msu.edu/hst/hst324/media/mcgraw.jpeg http://www.cinemasoldier.com/storage/post-images/die-hard-5-coming-soon-bruce-willis-john-maclane.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1266901296215 http://cache2.asset-cache.net/xc/1339508.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=77BFBA49EF878921F7C3FC3F69D929FD5532B97DF866CCA466418C5D45774C787C84E4F3FE7D276CE30A760B0D811297
  • - Urban Meyer will have his revenge: http://www.nflnewsworld.com/wp-content/uploads/Tim-Tebow.jpg http://jasondavis22.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/urbanmeyer.jpg http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/58/Ivy_Mike_-_mushroom_cloud.jpg


  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brooklyn_Dodgers
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basketball_at_the_1972_Summer_Olympics
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Messersmith
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_McGraw_(baseball)
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florida_vs._Georgia_Football_Classic