Here’s an example of what happens when you look at a picture for too long and then run with whatever your perverted little mind conjures up. Heart are Ann and Nancy Wilson, and they are indeed sisters. They front a guitar band from the mid-70’s that achieved monster success incredibly early in their careers. They were photographed together with seemingly no clothes on for the cover of their first album. This was done for no real reason other than they were both cute and the record label, being a record label, likely refused to push the album unless they agreed to pose this way.
Once the album blew up, the ridiculous rumor mills started, and it focused on the idea that Ann and Nancy were, well, a bit more than sisters. If you catch our drift. They engaged in plenty of, erm, private “heart-to-heart” conversations. If you know what we mean. They were sisters who were lesbians who had sex with each other. Wink wink.
Not that the record label helped matters much, unless you define help as egging on the lesbian incest rumors. They ran a full-page ad in Rolling Stone magazine, which was fairly popular in the 70’s when people actually still read magazines. Here’s the ad:
Anyone with more than a basic understanding of human sexuality could tell you that a lot of people didn’t bother to read the ad beyond the “first time” headline. Despite the text below clearly describing that their first album sold a million copies, reporters and fans still ran with the asinine story that the Wilson sisters preferred the company of each other exclusively. While it might have been a good way for guys to get over the realization that they would never ever in a billion years manage to hook up with either one of these sisters, that doesn’t make the actual myth any less silly.
Earlier, we discussed an evil scary guy named Manson and the ridiculous story surrounding him and the cutesy career path he took while still an impressionable youth. Well, this appears to be a recurring theme in human history, because here were have yet another scary guy named Manson supposedly doing something cutesy before finding his true calling as pure evil. In this case, Charles Manson, embodiment of what happens when a hippie takes one too many bad acid trips.
In the mid-60’s, a couple of producers held open auditions for young men in their late teens or early 20’s to form a band. The band would tour the world, put out hit records, star in their own TV show, and not be required to be any good at all at what they did, as long as they were cute. That band became the Monkees, and the producers got everything they wanted out of the group. The fact that the Monkees actually had a few good songs on their resume was just gravy on the turkey, as far as they were concerned. They could have been real monkeys for all they cared, as long as the girls swooned and shrieked over them.
And if you can’t get the image of little girls swooning and shrieking over a monkey out of your head, then try ramming it against a brick wall a few hundred times. That should fix everything.
Done? OK, we’ll move on. Eventually, rumors started spreading that the label had dodged a huge bullet, because one of the hopefuls at the audition was none other than Charles Manson, a budding hippie musician at the time. He was rejected, and went on to find his true calling in life by starting a cult and having several innocent people killed because a Paul McCartney song about playgrounds told him it was a good idea.
The problem here is that, much like with the Marilyn Manson story, ten seconds of research will debunk this myth. All you need is the realization that the auditions for the Monkees took place in 1965, when Manson was in prison for other, non-murderous, types of tomfoolery. He’d been in prison for four years prior to the audition and wouldn’t be released until two years after. Even though none of us here (and, we’re guessing, none of you) have ever been to federal prison for years on end, we’ll take a stab in the dark and assume that it’s awful difficult to audition for a boy-band, or even to be taken seriously for a future one, when you’re stuck in a cell 22 hours a day eating swill and tattooing swastikas into your forehead. Just call it a hunch.
- - Marilyn Manson: http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/pv/Marilyn%20Manson-5.JPG http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d3/WonderYears.jpg
- - Sid Vicious: http://s3.amazonaws.com/findagrave/photos/2001/222/vicioussidbio.jpg http://www.obsessedwithwrestling.com/pictures/s/sid/12.jpg
- - Oprah And Elvis: http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/Previews/Lisa-Marie-Presley-mm01.jpg
- - Heart: http://kelseysadventure.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/e2b8024128a024513a7bc010-l.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/RogueDDT/annandnancy.jpg
- - Charles Manson: http://www.morethings.com/images/charlie_manson/charles-manson-guitar.jpg http://www.heytherepoopypants.com/Assests/TEE%20SHIRT%20THUMBS%20325/Charles-Manson---Helter-Skelter-325x325.jpg