5 Not So Super (Real Life) Heroes & Villains

  • August 15, 2010
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4.

Spiderman

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Okay we know what you’re thinking. He doesn’t exactly resemble the iconic Spiderman we all know. Instead he looks more like a bootleg Doctor Octopus. In the comic book universe, mild-mannered Peter Parker has been saving lives and scaling buildings for decades. In our sad excuse for a world, scientist Jem Stansfield doesn’t fight crime but has at least achieved the effect of climbing walls (sorta) via two vacuum cleaners.

The presenter from BBC’s “Bang Goes the Theory” modified the appliances' motors into sucker pads, and proceeded to use them to crawl up the side of a school where he successfully recovered a lost shuttlecock from the roof. He did this as part of the Brighton Science Festival Program. Jem has stated that he came up with his unique idea while attempting to make superhuman powers out of junk. Why he didn’t create web-shooters instead is beyond us.

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Who needs a goofy looking vacuum attachment when you can swing freely from buildings on strings of gooey awesomeness.

5.

Aquaman

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Last on our list is someone who we frown upon simply because he’s forcing us to reference Aquaman. The dude pictured above is Lloyd Godson, an Australian marine biologist who turned a few heads in 2007, when he spent almost two weeks living in an underwater box.

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David Blaine has performed similar stunts as well but he doesn’t count because he’s clearly a magical wizard.

Unlike David (showoff) Blaine, our friend Lloyd rode a bike to generate electricity, grew his own food and used algae to manufacture oxygen. He claimed he never got lonely, because he maintained contact with people from all over the world via the Internet. We wonder how many of his fellow internet “friends” called him a water-noob and asked if his mom was an underwater wh*** who gave r** j***s to sea turtles. Sorry. Aquaman brings up more rage than we thought.

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Lloyd actually accomplished more in his two weeks in a box than this loser accomplished in his entire comic book existence.

Got some "powers" of your own you'd like to tell us about? Do it in the comments section below!

Written by Antony Quaglia – Copyrighted © www.weirdworm.com Image Sources

Image sources:

  • - Joker: http://resources3.news.com.au/images/2008/07/29/va1237321706367/Real-life-Joker-arrest-6169398.jpg http://www.comicbookdaily.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/kj.jpg http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/2236/seriously.jpg
  • - Wolverine: http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/6803/wolvieu.jpg http://weeklyrot.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/wolverine14.jpg http://www.calfinder.com/assets/images/blog/cardboard-box.jpg
  • - Magneto: http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/6792/magz.jpg http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/5286/andgoooooo.jpg http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/7070/17522448.jpg
  • - Spiderman: http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/02/15/article-1251157-084C86DF000005DC-204_468x286.jpg http://img203.imageshack.us/img203/7803/yeaaa.jpg
  • - Aquaman: http://slices-of-life.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/human_aquaman.jpg http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41385000/jpg/_41385693_blaine_enters_afp416b.jpg http://lucianogalasso.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/aquaman.jpg
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