Dr. Sun, The Fantastic Four
As a scientist during China's Cultural Revolution, Dr. Sun studied the most important subjects to better serve his country. Specifically, he studied how to transfer a human brain from its body and into a life support system to have it survive for an indefinite amount of time. Eventually a political opponent became jealous of Sun and managed to have him sentenced to death. But before he was to be executed he was to become the first test subject of his experiment. Yeah, this is going to end well.
The result of this was the world's first Chinese cyborg vampire. Now dependent on blood for his life support system, Dr. Sun began attacking those who wronged him, enslaving those who wronged him with mind control and feeding on the innocent. He even killed Dracula a few times because that's just what you do in the Marvel Universe.
In an attempt to take over the supercomputers of the planet Xandar, Dr. Sun takes possession of the body of the superhero Nova. The Fantastic Four, experienced in thwarting both cyborgs and vampires, catch wind of the plot and take it upon themselves to stop the sunny professor. Sun, realizing that doctors have a terrible track record against the Fantastic Four, took possession of their robot H.E.R.B.I.E. to return to Earth.
Once there, he launches his plan to kill the Fantastic Four by leaping from H.E.R.B.I.E.'s body to the computer that controls the Baxter Building where the Fantastic Four reside. This effectively frees the robot, who suddenly decides to be useful for once. Realizing his existence brings only pain, H.E.R.B.I.E. throws himself into the computer where Sun isolated himself, effectively killing them both. Somehow Sun could outwit a supernatural being but couldn't handle the quick-thinking wits of a fruity robot.
Miss Arrow, Spider-Man
When Spider-Man was killed by Morlun, he was approached by a spider god and told that, should he accept awesome new powers and embrace his inner spider, he could return to the realm of the living and continue to mope. However, somewhere the line of communication between spider gods broke down when a second god decided that it was actually Peter Parker's time to die. Rather than actually kill him themselves, the spider gods create another spider-being to kill their mistake, because really, there's not nearly enough of those running around New York as it is.
The result was Miss Arrow, an assassin that had powers mimicking that of Spider-Man with the additional bonus of actually being made out of spiders. On her quest to kill Peter once and for all she also attempts to impregnate a gym coach and frame an innocent woman of using cocaine in a public restroom because… uh… spider gods?
Miss Arrow attempts to breed more spider minions by stuffing an egg sack down an innocent man's throat. Spider-Man stops her just in time, as he tends to do, and a battle ensues that ends in the least climactic way possible: with birds.
Our hero lures Miss Arrow to an aviary filled with birds. Birds eat spiders, of course, but seem to have no affinity for spider men. Miss Arrow is eaten alive and never returns. The spider gods may play fast and loose with who they feel is worth reviving but at least they know when to call a dud a dud.
Who else ended up kicking the handdrawn bucket in a spectacularly anti-climactic way? Post it below!
- - The Bluebird, Spiderman : http://www.carrentals.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/transformers-battle1.jpg http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/0/77/116015-155054-bluebird_large.jpg
- - Optimus Prime, Transformers: http://www.carrentals.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/transformers-battle1.jpg http://www.carrentals.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/transformers-battle1.jpg http://tfwiki.net/w2/images2/thumb/9/96/Afterdeath-gameoverman.jpg/300px-Afterdeath-gameoverman.jpg
- - Ch'p, Green Lantern: http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/File:Chp.jpg
- - Dr. Sun, The Fantastic Four: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_DvKhdNIxfgE/Sr6vw1ypURI/AAAAAAAAAL0/HjxD_lxa4eQ/s400/Doctor+Sun.jpg http://monomythic.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/herbie-7.jpg
- - Miss Arrow, Spider-Man: http://dorkshelf.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/maximum-clonage.jpg http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/1/15776/583884-ero5_large.jpg