You know how child stars in movies and television always seem a lot more apt to go insane than people who don’t break into the business until later in life? You know, largely because those child stars never actually got the chance to have a life? Well Stephon Marbury is kind of the poster child for the basketball child star. He was featured in a book at the age of 14 and was in magazines and appeared on television long before he ever made his choice to go to college, a stint that would only last one year.
So if we’re keeping the child star comparison, it shouldn’t be too surprising that in recent years Starbury has pretty much lost his mind. Last year he gained even more notoriety than he’d already had when he decided to broadcast himself online via a webcam 24/7, culminating in one of the most bizarre things anyone has seen from anyone, not just an athlete, in a long, long time: he ate a freaking jar of Vaseline. We’re not sure what, if any health benefits can be found from eating a petroleum based lubrication product, but all we know is this: the once NBA All-Star has been exiled from major basketball and has only gotten a shot recently in a Chinese pro league.
Out of all the athletes on this list, Mike Danton is the one it’s least likely that you’ve heard of. That’s because he’s a hockey player, and as we all know, hockey is only a real sport during the Olympics or the Stanley Cup playoffs (please don’t tell any hockey players we said that, we value our teeth). But either way, if you have heard of Mike Danton it is probably not for his exploits on the ice; nope, it’s probably for his exploits off of them. Well, one attempted exploit in particular. And by “exploit” we of course mean “that time he hired a hitman to kill his agent.” What’d you think we were talking about, his winning third place in a hot dog eating contest?
Now a lot of people have trouble with the concept of firing someone. It’s tough and odds are, unless your name is Donald Trump, you just don’t feel good about it. Maybe that’s what was going through Danton’s head when he concocted this little scheme. Maybe he just really feels terrible about firing people, and rather than the awkwardness of running into his agent down the road he decided that it’d be best just to have him rubbed out. Of course, it could also be the fact that, according to some, Danton’s agent had pretty much brainwashed him from an early age and controlled his every move, which frankly just makes this whole case creepier, because we can sympathize with Danton if that’s true. Maybe we can all share a nice ear-sandwich.
- - Mike Tyson: http://filmgordon.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/teeth-mike-tyson-400a071807.jpg http://www.concreteloop.com/images/wtf2.gif
- - Dennis Rodman: http://www.debbieschlussel.com/archives/dennisrodmanbride.jpg http://ymswwc.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/att10108912.jpg
- - Tonya Harding: http://hollywoodhatesme.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/tonya-harding.jpg http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/Globe_Photo/2005/01/27/1106845967_9907.jpg
- - Stephon Marbury: http://bespokecashmere.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/marbury.jpg
- - Mike Danton: http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/dailyrft/mike_danton_mug_shot.jpg