Unlike Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, we can’t even blame “wealthy socialite status” or “rich parents” for Tila Tequila having been unleashed on the world. We only have ourselves to blame. No, that’s not true. We have Tom from MySpace. Tom, we are no longer friends. You have caused us far too much pain, and that pain is called Tila Tequila. Tila Tequila, who claims to be a “model, actress and singer” became famous for one thing and one thing only: she posted slutty pictures of herself all over MySpace, and because it’s what people with computers and MySpace accounts do, we looked. All of us. Tom gave her the stage, and we packed the theater. Sorry Tom, apparently we’re as much to blame as you.
In the past few years Tila has remained in the spotlight through various outlets, including television appearances (including a reality dating show that basically just serves to display what a tremendous skank she is) and movie appearances in such classics as “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.” She popped up in magazines like Playboy, Maxim, Stuff, King and Blender, and recently has done some voice work on Robot Chicken and The Cleveland Show. Oh, and she also gained a little more notoriety recently for apparently getting smacked around by San Diego Chargers star Shawne Merriman. But hey, we do have to give her a little credit. While Paris and Kim are continuing to do, well, nothing to maintain their fame, at least Tila is sort of, kind of, maybe just a little bit working to keep hers. We still refuse to completely forgive Tom, though.
Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag
Despite some of the mean things we’ve been saying about the people on this list, we’re sure that they have at least some redeeming qualities. Kim seems nice and actually has some causes and charities she works for, and we’re sure Tila is friendly enough. And Paris, well, at least she seems to have a sense of humor about herself. But now we’ve gotten to the absolute bottom of the barrel: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag. We used to think that at least Heidi Montag was okay. She seemed like a sweet enough girl. But no, based on her recent plastic surgery binge she’s proven to be just as vapid and ridiculous as her husband, who can soon be found in the Guinness Book of World Records for becoming the biggest douche in television history.
What is it about these two people that fascinates people so? Why are they famous? And why do they have such a ridiculous sense of entitlement despite having zero discernable talent or redeeming qualities between the two of them? If we want to blame Tom and MySpace for Tila, we need to point the finger at MTV here. And if you’re keeping score at home, the finger we’re pointing with is the middle one. We’ll never forget when we saw “Speidi” on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here last summer, pretending to be the biggest stars on the show despite the fact that none of them had ever accomplished a thing in either of their lives. And we’ll never forget when we had to buy a new TV, because the sight of Spencer’s smug face was enough to make us throw our remote through the old one.
Looking for some inexplicable fame of your own? Lend your voice to the comments below and try ragging on somebody famous! (It feels pretty great)
- - Paris Hilton:
- - Kim Kardashian:
- - Tila Tequila:
- - Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag: