Much like the WWE, when we get an idea that works we run it into the ground. Crank up your speakers, ignore any work or chores you had planned because it’s time for another Weird list of awesome wrestling theme songs. Yeah we just can’t get enough of these… and neither can you otherwise you wouldn’t be here.
Since this is a new countdown we’re going to begin appropriately with a song that features a countdown of its own. We’re speaking of course about Chris Jericho’s classic theme; “Break the Walls Down” by Adam Morenoff. To give you an idea of how epic this song is, let’s rewind back to 1999 (a.k.a. the stone-age). In the weeks before Jericho's WWE debut a mysterious clock labeled "countdown to the new millennium" began popping up on Raw. That clock ultimately ran down on August 9, 1999. Chris Jericho then entered the arena, proclaimed himself "Y2J" and has been kicking a** ever since. Also he’s gotten his own a** kicked just as much… but still, great song.
Our next theme, “No Chance in Hell”, doesn’t even belong to an active wrestler. This is the entrance music for WWE, CEO, Vince McMahon. The hard hitting song suits Vince’s evil character as well as crazy suits Gary Busey. Ever since the notorious 1997, Montreal Screwjob Vince has mostly played the part of an all powerful, maniacal dictator. Whenever this music is played that means somebody is about to get screwed over for their title or have to participate in a one on ten steel cage match…with both hands tied behind their back. On a side note, we have our doubts that Vince is even human.
Doink the Clown (Original Song)
As much as we despise the idea of a reference to Doink we’re forced to acknowledge his existence due to his original theme song. The first version of Doink’s sinister music (from his early heel days) showed that the WWE was obviously aiming for a dark Joker-like persona. Such a gimmick wasn’t a stretch considering 99% of children are terrified of clowns anyway. Once Doink became a “face” his music and career predictably went to hell. However, it’s interesting to think about the potential that Doink once had. If he remained a heel and his character evolved in that direction he could have been somebody… he could have been a contender…
It doesn’t take a music expert to notice that WCW superstar DDP’s famous theme “Self High Five” was a cover of Nirvana’s smash hit “Smells like Teen Spirit”. However any wrestler with enough balls to use this trademark bad-a** song as his entrance theme deserves some credit in our book. When DDP joined the WWE they decided to go with a generic tune instead. This followed WWE’s tradition of subtly destroying previously well established WCW stars.
Jake the Snake Roberts
We’re taking it way back with this entry from classic WWE superstar Jake the Snake Roberts. It might sound a bit laid back, (perhaps even like something from a 16 bit Nintendo game) however the melodious tune fit perfectly with Roberts clever character. The song is a product of its time which screams “1980’s” louder than any sweatshirt dangling off a shoulder ever could.
Arguably one of the most entertaining character themes the WWE ever produced was the Godfather’s. Today’s practically G rated product doesn’t hold a candle to WWE’s more risqué days when wrestlers like this were running rampant. Godfather was basically a charismatic pimp who was accompanied to the ring by his army of “hoes”. Godfather has been retired for a few years now, meaning his escort service is likely in need of a new “manager”. If you think your pimp hand is strong enough we urge to apply immediately.
Never has a more perfect theme, perfectly existed for such a gifted and perfect athlete. The perfect theme in question, which we have perfectly posted here, was the perfect entrance music for the late (though still perfect) wrestler Curt Hennig, a.k.a. Mr. Perfect. In our view it remains absolutely… perfect.
TNA outdid themselves with this awesome music choice for former WWE superstar Christian. “Take Over” is an instrumental version of "My Last Breath" by Evanescence, covered by Dale Oliver. This track hits harder than a naked, coked up Charlie Sheen in an all out brawl with a disobedient, one legged hooker. The song stands out amidst a sea of generic rock themes which most modern wrestlers have navigated toward.
Here’s a classic theme from a vintage nasty heel wrestler who was raising hell long before some of us were even born. Iron Sheik was a notorious Iranian wrestler and current WWE Hall of Famer. He’s famous for ending the near six-year title reign of Bob Backlund. He was also the man Hulk Hogan pinned for his first ever WWE Championship… something many Sheik fans back then actually felt strongly against.
Trish Stratus is a legendary WWE Diva and Women’s champion. She’s also a woman that some men would sell their first born on eBay just for five seconds of licking her feet. Trish’s famous theme “Time to Rock and Roll” as performed by rapper Lil’ Kim is a unique departure among all of our macho entries. Now retired, she’s very much missed by fans. Another thing we miss is that cool “MaTrish” move she did to avoid attacks.
Big Daddy Cool, Diesel
Big Daddy Cool, a.k.a. Kevin Nash, is a former WWE champion and a true legend. You’ve likely seen him in WCW or TNA but he’s most famous for his WWE championship run in the 90’s. Deservedly so, his entrance theme kicks all kinds of a**. As you may note from the comments section of the YouTube link, even at age 50 Diesel still has an incredible fan following.
WWE superstar, The Viper, Randy Orton is another wrestler who has had a number of entrance themes throughout his career. This rather intense music, “Burn in my Light” by Mercy Drive is arguably his most famous. And when we say arguable, we do mean just that. Many Orton fans have squabbled endlessly online over which of Randy’s themes has been “the best”. Consider our word the final say on the matter.
If you are a fan of Stanley Kubrick’s’ 2001 and have ever found yourself watching the film only to be interrupted by someone idiotically shouting “whoooooo!!!”, here is the reason why. Leading operatic German composer Richard Strauss’ famous theme “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” was also the entrance music of legendary wrestler Ric Flair. Why such a grand theme was picked by a performer who is known for being shy and humble is beyond us.
The Game, Triple H
In terms of getting fans pumped for an entrance, WWE legend Triple H’s infamous theme ranks right up there with Ultimate Warrior and Demolition’s. The sick adlibs, hard-hitting guitar and head nodding tempo of “King of Kings” as produced by British rock band Motörhead is instantly recognizable. But really, it’s the part where Triple H spits water into the air that really seals the deal on the awesomeness of his entrance.
Bret “The Hitman” Hart
Our number one entry, Bret Hart’s classic WWE theme, is a song that even we’re surprised was left off of our previous list. Well now we’re making things right in the internet universe by giving Jim Johnston’s “Hart Attack” our number one status. There have been more versions of this song than perhaps any other theme in wrestling. Ultimately we went with our choice for the most iconic and memorable rendition. So there we have it. “The best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be”…at least until we can think of another 15 songs.