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I interviewed hundreds of thousands of people in my quest to find the strangest things to say to a stranger. According to my interviewees, these lines have actually been tried. In real life. God help us all.

#01

My lips are skittles, want to taste the rainbow?

OK, this is cute. Sometimes bizarre is charming. Extra points for making the subject salivate. Skittles are great.

#02

Are you wearing space pants, because your butt is out of the world!

Might work at a Star Trek convention.

#03

You’re even prettier than my fantasy girlfriend.

Might work at a Star Wars convention.

#04

Are you from Nashville, because you’re the only Ten-I-see.

Might work at the Grand Ole Opry.

#05

They say eyes are the windows to the soul, well baby, yours are stained glass.

Ahhh… works well on Catholic girls, I hear.

#06

If you were on the McDonald’s menu, I’d name you the McBeautiful.

This one provokes my gag reflex.

#07

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

This one was actually used on me. And no, it didn’t work out for the guy.

#08

If you were my sister, incest would be cool.

I think he was trying to be funny. He wasn’t.

#09

Baby, I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

OK, this one is cute, if you are hitting on someone who watches cartoons.

#10

My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.

OK, this one is cute, if you are hitting on someone who watches Sesame Street.

#11

My friend and I have a bet that you won’t take off your shirt in a public place.

This one might work in Hooters. Or it might get you punched.

#12

You have nice teeth.

True story. It’s been said. Creepy. Creepy. Creepy.

#13

Want to see my collection of Larry Bird baseball cards? [Or insert any odd object(s) no one wants to see.]

It’s 2009 and Larry Bird didn’t play baseball.

#14

What are your plans tonight? Feel like a Bible study?

I hear this one works well in a bar.

#15

I’m the one responsible for all those crop circles in England.

This one would totally work on me.

Written by Robin Merrill – Copyrighted © www.weirdworm.com