Psychotic Horse Riding Bonanza
Or, as the games producers would prefer that we refer to it: Winning Post 3. Man, you have to imagine what sort of cover art they had on the first two games... oh wait, they had normal artwork. Did the guys who made this game just burn every bridge that they had with every artist in town, up until the point where all they had left to work with was that guy who ‘does the weird shit with the young girls, the masks, and the horses’, or the guy who finger paints paintings using his own poop? Obviously it was the first one by the way; lord knows the second guy would have had more sense than to get involved in this project.
Bust A Move 2
If we make some really old nerdy jokes about Doctor Who, there’s a good chance that no-one in our audience will understand them. And then we’ll have our lunch money stolen because we have to live up to the clichés and stuff. Anyway, what we wanted to say is that this guy on the front cover (i.e. the only guy there) looks uncannily like William Hartnell, the first Doctor. Go on, Google it bitches. There’s no way that any of you commenter assholes are going to get us on this point because we love our classic Doctor Who. Now if we could have our book bags back, that would be fine.
Julie Finds A Way
Here you go, don’t say we don’t give you anything. Here’s a new game we just invented. It’s called ‘Julie Finds a Way to...” and you have to come up with the most likely scenario for this cover art. Currently, the most favourite answer in the office is ‘Julie Finds a Way to Bury the Bodies So No-One Will Ever Find Them’. She’s even holding a goddamn shovel, how are you not seeing this?! Also, what is it about Nintendo that results in such shitty cover art? This must be like the fifth game from that company on here, and the rest are all Donkey Kong for Christ’s sake. Although it was a brave move of the makers to hire an artist not to create a cover image in Photoshop or anything that uses electric, but instead just used watercolours. Brave man.
Donkey Kong 3
This Game Because HELL If We Can Find A Title For It
We don’t know whether we want to buy this game, or have the guys who made it and designed it placed under some kind of mental care. This looks like a cross between a train simulator, complete with crazy Thomas The Tank Engine style train in the top-right corner. There’s also some kind of Greek influences like God of War, thanks to the naked pointing man in the top-left corner. There’s a Spiderman like villain wearing a multi-coloured party hat in the bottom-left corner, and of course the two naked wrestlers in the middle. Actually, screw it, we already know. We’re looking on eBay for copies now because this seems like the best thing ever.
- - Fester’s Quest: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d5/FestQuest.jpg
- - Donkey Kong: http://www.platypuscomix.net/interactive/fiercekong.jpg
- - Donkey Kong: http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/c64-games/891-1.jpg
- - Clowns: http://i.imgur.com/5zuU6.jpg
- - Whatever The Goddamn Hell This Game Is: http://i.imgur.com/agLW6.jpg
- - Psychotic Horse Riding Bonanza: http://i.imgur.com/Gz48H.jpg
- - Bust A Move 2: http://i.imgur.com/VPZCz.jpg
- - Julie Finds A Way: http://i.imgur.com/3R9DB.jpg
- - Donkey Kong 3: http://i.imgur.com/SJlGC.jpg
- - This Game Because HELL If We Can Find A Title For It: http://www.videogamelists.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/zero-choaniki.jpg