1. Sara Jane Hamilton Squirting Vagina

Does being shot in the face with a water pistol no longer cut it for you? Then why not indulge yourself by buying one of these plastic squirting vaginas? But whatever you do, don’t let your friends find it or you’ll never live it down. No matter how many times you tell them that you bought it for a laugh, they just won’t believe you.

Link: Squirting Vagina

2. The Foot-Vagina

That’s right, it’s a plastic foot with a hole in the bottom. Because that’s the one place that God forgot to put an orifice. This answers the prayers of countless foot fetishists around the globe. Until recently the only way they could satisfy their urge to have sex with a foot was to sedate a hooker and get creative with a pair of scissors. The foot-vagina still offers an outlet for creativity though. Why not buy several and turn them into a shoetree, thus disguising your secret perversion.

Link: Foot Masturbator

3. The Chin-Dildo

There is very little that needs to be said about this bizarre strap-on chin dildo. It’s fairly self-explanatory. In fact there is very little at all that can be said about it. I do have one question though – wouldn’t your neck get tired?

Link: The Chin Dildo

4. Chest and Thigh Strap-ons

When an ordinary pelvic strap-on just won’t do the job, it’s time to specialize with a chest or thigh strap-on. Why anybody would want to strap a dildo to the side of their leg or to their chest is a mystery to me, but it does give me a great idea for a Halloween costume.

Link: Chest and Thigh Strap-ons

5. Mr Jack with Moustache

This hilarious plastic face gives you the chance to simulate oral sex with an Italian chef or one of the Mario brothers. It’s creators describe it as having a softly noduled throat but it looks like the serrated throat of a giant Sandworm from the planet Arrakis to me. The name also implies that the moustache was an after-thought, but what would this product be without it?

Link: Mr Jack with Moustache

6. The Dildo Gas Mask

The piercing sound of air-raid sirens screech all around you and within seconds the world around you has turned to ash and smoke and flame. You try to run but you can’t see anywhere to take shelter. Suddenly, out of the fog, a figure emerges wearing this terrifying mask and takes your hand. ‘Come with me if you want to live’. Would you go with them or would you take your chances alone? I know which option I would choose.

Link To Image

7. Sex Toys for Dogs

Why should we humans have all the fun? Isn’t it only fair that man’s best friend should be allowed to join in? Now they can thanks to the new trend of buying sex dolls for dogs. The doggie sex dolls available include the DoggieLoverDoll and the Hotdoll. Perhaps unsurprisingly, these have become alarmingly popular in Japan, where they are seen as the solution to embarrassing leg humping incidents.

Link

8. The Concubine Masturbator

From what foul depth of hell did this beast emerge? Brought to life on the cold surgical table of a mad scientist’s laboratory, the concubine masturbator caughed and spluttered before uttering it’s first words – ‘kill me’. But the scientist had other plans for it. Ok, tits and a vagina, I get it. It’s all a man really needs. But was the additional cock helmet really necessary?

Link To Image

9. RealDoll

The RealDoll takes pride in being the most realistic sex doll on the market. It’s skin is designed to feel just like real skin and is reinforced with Kevlar so you can literally do anything you want to it – even shoot it. I can’t help thinking that it already looks like a corpse though and it’s blank expression is enough to scare anybody into losing their erection, as the price – several thousand dollars. Surely the only people who would buy this are rich necrophiliacs who enjoy shooting, then humping the corpses of their overly made-up secretaries. Available in both male and female forms the RealDoll comes with the option of changeable faces. You can even put a female face on a male body if that’s what turns you on. Was this the look Michael Jackson was going for? You can even order one without a head or limbs. Or if you’re on a budget you could save a bundle by ordering the travel sized RealDoll torso.

Link: Sex Dolls

10. Area 51 Love Doll

Have you always dreamed of having sex with a three breasted alien? If so, this is the ideal woman/mannequin/alien/thing for you. Straight from the planet Sexulon this alien has ‘three out of this world orifices’, including a mouth shaped like lady parts and ‘ass shaped ears’. The Area 51 Love Doll also comes with free alien lube, which you would have to be insanely disturbed to actually use.

Link: Area 51 Blow up doll

Written by Mark Ball – Copyrighted © www.weirdworm.com