Jerry Lewis Meets Batman and Robin
Comedian Jerry Lewis once had his own comic book in a time when comic books weren't taken very seriously. Lewis (who appears to have been struck in the skull with a shovel, judging by his portrait in the corner there) used his run to have his comic visage meet various celebrities of the time, which wasn't an unusual practice of the day. However, from this cover we can learn three things:
1. Jerry Lewis can't tell the difference between a laser beam and a sun lamp (hint: one key difference is the scent of melting metal). 2. In case of emergencies, Batman and Robin always use the front door. 3. The Joker can really fill-out a sweatshirt. Me-ow.
Spider-Man Meets the Transformers
Not much of a stretch when you consider Spider-Man and Transformers were both Marvel properties in the mid-eighties. Still, Spider-Man's total ineffectiveness against fighting giant robots should be readily apparent: he attempts to catch the Autobot Gears in his web only to watch him fall to his death, but only after trying to contain Megatron in his web with similar tragic results.
The X-Men Meet the Cast of Star-Trek
Has anything good ever come out of the X-Men coming to, returning from, or interacting with space in any way? The short answer is “no,” while the long answer is “No, and people should really stop rewriting the Phoenix Saga.”
But back to the subject at hand. The X-Men of 1996 are transported to the original USS Enterprise to combat Proteus, a reality shaping mutant, who is possessing the corpse of Gary Mitchell, who can also distort reality. The end result is Wolverine getting a Vulcan death-grip.
The Avengers VS. Godzilla
The Avengers are Marvel's B-team, pulling up the rear behind the X-Men, X-Factor, Generation-X, X-Force and any other team that has an “X” in its name. The team's roster constantly rotates and some line-ups have an easier go at it than others. For example, the line-up of Thor, Iron-Man, Yellow Jacket, Wasp, and Vision had to tackle Japan's greatest export: a radiation-made monster.
Having thwarted every giant moth and Japanese military man he could find, big G made his way across the Pacific and hauled ass across America, brutalizing every hero, space robot and unfortunately tall building in his way. It wasn't until he made his way across the continent and landed in New York City that he was stopped by the Avengers. But here's something to ponder: where were all the super heroes when he was tearing down Tokyo like a Lego set? Oh yeah, back in New York.
Superman Meets Pat Boone
Finally, we learn that Superman has an often forgotten yet deadly weakness: the pop stylings of one Pat Boone.
I'm not really sure how a top forty hit and radio play somehow undermine a man who is invincible by nearly every stretch of the imagination, but the fact the he feels the need to use every one of his super-powers to stop this jam session can only mean that poor Pat Boone will be leaving that studio in a body cast. Or maybe Superman is just sick of people ripping off black artists.
What other crossover-cash ins have filled you with nerd rage? Post them below!
- - Superman Meets the Quik Bunny: http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQq2BhF4gc2L-HCrc-7jV0aT17qU7MajSKfgT61hPzD0TQ7Og0&t=1&usg=__v_8DUSp-bVpDMWv21VaZB5oJjD0
- - Spider-Man and the Not Ready for Prime-Time Players: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRTwrYEXJIh0q1fJ8x6BZ4XyY7vWR4C3QQHJL1RrBbn9q61ibw&t=1&usg=__ewvGkQssJhObbzmhX10NyfrpE8Y
- - Archie Meets the Punisher: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ9cJJOfA1H8TgrJ1HjVwfP-iP_OpKDaTXSCPynrg3aRM67MNU&t=1&usg=__QPbcLbzrnlzgnEnsRu7mh2sG5eM
- - The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Meet Archie: http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQGU6rZunvkNHWAxSShqXnGADF51Ap1KUhjgeR05btBYVrhNAs&t=1&usg=__eaUEuEbMjoEL7WGnp9ehJ0PxXuA
- - Everyone Meets the Predator: http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSwl-0Uopadkp-2n5-5qlh1rYQaf5sbfGbzHGrWu1ZkT9dXghA&t=1&usg=__zDT5JAZ3BVEIndSui7dpoqnV_gk http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTlxUQc1PNLyoKVOUkE8DwNpdrmDzA9-9RHgzqDcuCtX3q2nxU&t=1&usg=__rs4rjQ9IgF_wVGpLi-15rMo73MI= http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQr3aw9bfFqnM2HMYPh6wsFSlnfu5hruUfByQe7dQEE3YphYAs&t=1&usg=__q6NF73oTLDGAti6bbszfcnBd3Kk= http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRcR45RW_7_70qQMA5JfBT5UdURENB9SBJ0p-NNWlvkjQRPP5A&t=1&usg=__sisNeMPMqNsyfCFp004fpy4p-6k= http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT8uRqcSOfujAYqD9d1UNotBm4uAZ8id16w7N4sldPoSAdLCNM&t=1&usg=__oswi6aU443A709dGjex2U0y9kiE=
- - Jerry Lewis Meets Batman and Robin: http://www.bite.ca/bitedaily/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/BatmanJerryLewis2.jpg
- - Spider-Man Meets the Transformers: http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTyfokyj8yqCzy_BetjxnoqUgDXG0HIEe9GXkAsrkJYkW7JeIs&t=1&usg=__84Yr3CKy19I1MYrOD-N_G7nksV8
- - The X-Men Meet the Cast of Star-Trek: http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQEg0wqQFy-hm98C3KPf7lzk6pMTTz1j3B1v-Bi8CwGB67BbXY&t=1&usg=__JmSDj1IHSGVo17g1rhi7FRLXe78
- - The Avengers VS. Godzilla: http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTTwBCpSsM9nYFfNMS-5FdGpUxBzhVmYV-I_cepGJnuK-KfUlQ&t=1&usg=__etK9gL0qv9c7Q3UcfkW80BkB1bY
- - Superman Meets Pat Boone: http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/lois-lane/9-1.jpg